Another web post circulating about concerned “Why did the chicken cross the road?’  Not to be outdone, our smart-ass group chimed in as follows:

UNATTRIBUTED: The chicken crossed the road to show the possum that it could be done.
JOHN MC CAIN:  My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to bomb the other side of the road.
MARTIN LUTHER KING:  Because it had a DREAM...that ALL God's chickens...red, yellow, black,
white and brown...could cross the road.

GEORGE H.W. BUSH:  Read my lips.  No new chicken riddles.

GEORGE W. BUSH:  He wanted to unificate with other chickens so he could put food on his
family.

JOHN MADDEN:  LOOK AT THAT CHICKEN CROSSING THAT ROAD!!!!  THAT CHICKEN CAME HERE TODAY TO RUN!!!!

OSAMA BIN LADEN:  To force his decadent Western ways on the Muslim world, peace be upon it.

LLOYD BENSON:  I knew that chicken, and *you,* senator, are no chicken.

DAN QUAYLE:  I like my chicken with a baked potatoe...pottato...a nice spud.

SPIRO AGNEW:  Cowardly, craven chickens cross to create chaos.

MARCEL MARCEAU:  "                      "

VOLTAIRE:  I disapprove of chickens crossing the road, but I will defend to the death their right to do so.

MISTER ROGERS:  Can you see the chicken cross the road?  Gee, I like it when chickens cross the road.

FIRST-GRADE READER:  See the road.  See the hen cross the road.  Run, hen, run.

CALIFORNIA HIGHSCHOOL GRADUATE:  Cuz he, like, wanned 2, y'know, get overr their.

LARRY ELLISON:  I'm buying that chicken.  Hell, I'm buying the whole damned Interstate Highway System.

YODA:  Look inside yourself, you should, if seek you to know why crossing the
road the chicken was.

RICK BLAINE:  Louie, I think this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful dinner.

CASPAR GUTTMAN:  My dear sir, if you lose a chicken you can always get another one.  But
there's only one Maltese Falcon.

GILBERT AND SULLIVAN:  In matters that are fowlish-like there's none so anguished-howlish-like
As pullets dodging bullets getting struck by speeding motorbikes.