…and how to avoid the same
Santa Rita is the county jail in Alameda County, California. That’s where they take you if you’re arrested by a county sheriff or a CHP officer, if you are awaiting a trial or if a court has sentenced you to jail time. It temporarily houses murderers, rapists, child molesters, gang members and drug runners, but it’s also where guys go who don’t pay their child support.
I don’t do very much family law anymore, but I did for many years and in all that time I only had two fathers sentenced to spend any time at Santa Rita. Most family law attorneys have many more of these stories than I have. I guess I’m just an old softie.
The first one wasn’t really a bad guy – just stupid. He had three children from his first marriage and a new wife. One November, he quit paying child support for about three months and his kids had almost no Christmas that year at all. All of mom’s money went for rent, food and clothing and Santa Claus was as mythical that year as the guy from the government who’s here to help you.
In the meantime, however, he had a $5,000 spa installed in his back yard and he and the new wife took off on a winter jaunt to Disneyland. (Warning: if you’re going to buy expensive toys instead of paying child support, hide the toys from the kids when they come to visit.)
*
A word about contempt of court: The parent who’s supposed to be paying child support can be sentenced to up to five days in jail for each missed payment if he or she is found to be in contempt. But the other parent (let’s face it – it’s usually the mom) has to prove that 1) dad had knowledge of the order for support, 2) he was able to make the payment if he chose (we say he had the “means to comply” with the court order), and 3) he didn’t make the payment.
The “means to comply” with the order doesn’t mean that dad has a bunch of money left over at the end of the month. His kids are supposed to come first. So it is no defense that he’s living in a $6,000-a-month penthouse apartment or he just bought some expensive new toys. If, on the other hand, he had been laid off work, or fired, or his hours severely cut, or he had expensive emergency medical care, then he probably wasn’t able to make his support payments.
Also, most judges are reluctant to impose jail time, even if dad is found to be in contempt. They’re more interested in seeing that the support is paid. The norm is something like, “Mr. X, I find you guilty of two counts of contempt of court and sentence you to ten days in the county jail. But I’m going to stay [postpone] that sentence and give you a chance to purge yourself of the contempt. Bring your support payments current within 90 days and I’ll dismiss the contempt charges.”
*
This first guy, however, was too stupid to plead stupidity. If he had only just put a big dumb look on his face and said, “Gee, judge, I didn’t realize it worked that way. I’m sorry. Give me a chance and I’ll make it right,” he’d have gotten off with nothing more than a lecture.
Instead, he went on the attack.
“Mr. ____,” I asked him when he was on the stand. “Isn’t it true that you bought a $5,000 spa last November?”
“Who told you that,” he demanded.
“I’m sorry. That doesn’t matter. Did you buy the spa?”
“That’s none of your business!”
“Mister _________,” interrupted the judge. “Answer the question. Did you or did you not buy a spa last November?”
“I really don’t see what that has to do with –“ he persisted.
“Did you or did you not?” the judge almost roared.
“I guess so.”
The subject of Disneyland was more of the same.
In the end, the judge sentenced him to 15 days in Santa Rita, ordered him to actually serve five days and suspended 10 days on condition that child support was made current within a certain amount of time.
After his long weekend as a guest of the county, he told his former wife that he would never – ever – miss a support payment again. “I never want to go through anything like that again.”
*
The second guy definitely deserved it. Mom had turned her life around since they had been together, but he still fancied himself a gangsta. He had the means to pay support, but nobody was going to tell him what to do.
The judge found him guilty of six counts of contempt – for a total of 30 days jail time – and asked me what my client wanted him to do.
“Well, judge, we’re not really interested in putting him in jail,” I said. “I was thinking maybe just a couple of days to get his attention and then –“
“Couple days to get my attention,” the guy muttered/sneered. “I don’t need nobody to get my attention. Huh! Get my attention.”
“Okay, that’s it,” the judge snapped. “I’m sentencing you to 30 days in Santa Rita starting today. Mr. Court Attendant, please escort Mr. ________ to a holding cell.”
As far as I know, my client never did get her back child support.
*
So, as I’ve written before, I’m a member of the Pro Bono Players, who sing song parodies to the law community about legal issues. I occasionally submit a song of my own and they’re always rejected. This one, I kinda like. It’s to the tune of Alan Sherman’s “Camp Granada.”
Hello Mudda, life’s been neatah;
I’m locked up in Santa Rita.
All I said was, “Judge, you’re a phony.
You can’t make me pay that stupid alimony.”
I was witty, devastating.
Now my few-chah’s worth debating.
All I said was “No more support.
Fifteen days ain’t half of my contempt for this court.”
Take me home where life was sweetah.
Take me home; hate Santa Rita.
Don’t leave me to sit in jail and rust,
(A skinhead’s eyeing me with lust.)
Bail me out. I’m sorry for the things I said.
I told the judge to soak his head.
I said his mother was a hound;
You know…I like to kid around.
I might have mentioned kangaroo court
And said “Heil Hitlah,” but he’s a poor sport.
Thirty days now is the rumah.
Mudda what’s a judge without a sense of humah.




