You just gotta love Caller ID.
The University of Oklahoma, between which and self there is little love lost, calls me at least twice a week and has for years. I know they’re going to be asking for money, so I never answer the call, just like I don’t answer any call identified as “Toll Free Number.”
But tonight I had had enough. I decided to answer and have a little fun.
– Hello…could I speak to Ste – ven Dim – ick?
– This is he. (It was the last sentence I spoke in proper English instead of Okie.)
– Mr. Dim – ick, I’m a student at the University of Oklahoma and I’m calling you on behalf of the President’s Council –
– Ya’ll are callin’ me on behalf of the president o’ that-there Univarsity?
– Yes, sir, I’m –
– Now ya’ll lissen here. Ya’ll got a li’l ol’ “Do Not Call” leeist?
– Yes, sir, we do, but –
– I tell ya’ll whut: Ya’ll just put me on that li’l ol’ leeist and don’ch’all be a-callin’ me agin s’long as David Boren is the president o’ that-there Univarsity.
– Can I ask why?
– I ain’t a-givin’ ya’ll any money s’long as David Boren is president. Just put me on that-there leeist. Y’heah?
– Yes, sir, but –
– Thank ya’ll fer callin’.
Precious moments like these are too few. I haven’t had so much fun since, as the fellow once said, the pigs ate my little brother. I just can’t wait for the next “Toll Free Call.”