Archive for category Chronological

Model City — Chapter 24

Oklahoma Journal – Part 1

We are like dwarfs standing upon the shoulders of giants.

Bernard of Chartres

During the year I spent racing quarter horses, I was always given a leg up.

Literally.  A race horse is big: at least sixteen hands, or more than five feet at the shoulder; and racing stirrups, unlike western stirrups, are very short.  Even the most experienced jockey is always given a boost onto the horse by its owner or trainer.

Figuratively.  I so desperately wanted to race that a couple of owners gave me a break and a couple of jockeys gave me tips.

The myth of pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps works only for the very extraordinary, one-in-a-million kid, which eliminates me and everyone I know.  Zorro might be able to leap into the saddle unaided, but the rest of us need a leg up.

I have been lucky in receiving many a leg up, from a lot of mentors and a lot of helpers.  Why they bothered, or what they saw in me, I never understood.

**

Three factors combined to push me into my first career as a journalist: a couple of teachers, one of many mentors and a system.  The most important of the three was the system, an educational philosophy known as “tracking.”

The practice of separating school classes by ability, tracking groups all A-level students together in classes that are more rigorous and which progress faster, the B-level students in classes a bit slower and less rigorous, and so forth.

The debate over tracking still goes on today, and will probably never be settled, any more than the debate between phonics and sight-reading, but the anti-tracking forces seem to be holding the high ground lately.  My stepdaughter’s fourth-grade principal (a frustrated, former underachiever who single-handedly managed to dismantle the Gifted and Talented Education [GATE] program in our school district) even wrote a position paper likening the practice to the “separate but equal” educational system struck down by Brown v. Board of Education.

The Midwest City School District tracked its students, and if it hadn’t I might be an auto mechanic today.

In junior high school nearly all of my friends were lower-scoring students.  They knew about cars: transmissions, horsepower, cubic inches, cubic centimeters, carburetors, dual carbs, camshafts, piston rings, overdrive, four-on-the-floor and hotwiring.  They had fathers who knew such things and passed them on.

I didn’t know a piston from a pothole, but I knew that I wanted to know.  With no father to teach me, how else was I to find out but by taking a class?  The junior high school offered a two-hour-a-day, trade-school class in auto mechanics.  I signed up for it and was rejected.  Mildred offered to help me out.  For the only time, she met with the school authorities on my behalf.  At least if I became an auto mechanic, I could earn my own living and would need no further help from her.

“Mrs. Pilkinton, this class is for the ‘C’ and ‘D’ students, the ones who are never going to college and who have no particular ambition other than to work on cars,” the vice-principal explained to her.  “I understand that Steve wants to learn how to repair a car, but he’s college material and would be wasting his time in auto mechanics.  He needs to concentrate on academic subjects.”

Bitterly disappointed at the time, I would hug the man today.

*

The head of the speech and drama department at Midwest City High School was a swelled-headed egotist who loved to hear himself pontificate.  Only in his early twenties himself, he stroked his ego by displaying his knowledge to teenagers.

Most of the students in his classes worshiped him.  Some of us didn’t, but that didn’t keep us from wanting to know what he knew.  Who was this Pirandello fellow, anyway, and why should we care?  Better find out.  Samuel Beckett?  Giraudoux’s “Madwoman of Chaillot?”  Don Marquis’ ‘archy and mehitabel?”  Better find out.

When I enrolled in my first journalism class my senior year in high school, he suggested to the instructor that I be given a regular column in the school newspaper, the “Bomber Beam.”

I was already writing, but I didn’t really want to be a newspaper reporter.  I wanted to be Scott Fitzgerald.  But from reading my own work, I finally realized that I was unlikely to write another “Gatsby” while in college.  Mildred was right in one observation:  I was going to have to earn a living somehow.  So journalism it was.

That semester, with my own satirical column, “Dimick on the World,” running bi-weekly, I decided I wanted to be humorist Art Hoppe, syndicated columnist from the San Francisco Chronicle.

I could change personas as often as I could change masks.

*

The journalism teacher helped me get a scholarship.  It wasn’t much: only $350 a year, but that still paid for tuition and left me almost $50 a semester for books.  Mildred was eternally grateful – or, rather, she was grateful for two years until I gave up the scholarship to change from a journalism major to a “directed studies” major in journalism, history and English.

*

It was Career Day, 1964, and I attended the journalism career class, where the speaker was a University of Oklahoma staffer who headed both the Future Journalists of America association at OU and the Oklahoma Interscholastic Press Association, which promoted, encouraged and critiqued high school newspapers.

Bill Atkinson’s Oklahoma Journal was still fairly new and I was still fairly conservative.  I had no idea that I would spend some years writing for the Journal. I only knew I was still burning from the front page of a few weeks before.  When the floor was opened for questions, I raised my hand.

“I’m wondering about a front-page editorial in the Journal,” I said.  “There was a huge color photo of Lyndon Johnson with a banner headline saying ‘The Journal Endorses Johnson For President.’  To me, that’s not journalistic responsibility.  News belongs on the front page and editorials belong on the editorial page.”

Later, I would hear Jim Paschl tell the story: “The kids were asking about wages, and whether they should take more English classes and how important it was to know how to type.  And all of a sudden this high school kid raised his hand and asked a question that I would only have expected from a third- or fourth-year J student.”

*

Jim was a journalist from the old school.  When told as a high school student that he couldn’t take a journalism class unless he could type, he spent a week or two teaching himself to type with the first two fingers of both hands.  Using only four fingers, he was faster than I was, and I was no slouch of a typist.

He became the first in a series of mentors, giving me a part-time job helping him run the FJA and the OIPA, showing me the campus hangouts, introducing me to all of the J-School faculty (and, more importantly, to the office staff, who would later turn their backs when I snuck in for unauthorized use of the mimeograph machine), and trying to get me to pledge a fraternity.  When the 4,000-odd incoming freshmen were gathered in the football stadium for the freshman convocation, we cruised around Norman in his car, drinking beer.

Jim was an irreverent smart-ass, like me, and we clicked.  He telephoned my dorm room one Sunday morning about ten.  “Where have you been?  Did you go to church”

“Church?  No, I didn’t go to church.  I just got out of the shower.”

“Oh, well, you know what they say,” he quipped.  “Cleanliness is next to godliness.  If you can’t go to church, take a shower.”

**

Of course, I liked Bill Atkinson.  Nobody in Midwest City disliked Bill Atkinson.  Founder of the town, churchgoer, Sunday school teacher, generous host and all that.  He may have controlled the city, but he did so with the soft words of a grandfather and he nearly always got his way.  Harsh words, if any, came from his lieutenants.

It was just that Mr. A and I got off on the wrong foot.  I didn’t know I would end up working for him.

My first real exposure to Mr. A. was his appearance at the City Council meeting to oppose the commercial rezoning of a tract of land which he didn’t own.  And then there was the stock offering for W.P. Atkinson Enterprises, Inc.  I was right about the former incident and wrong about the latter, but it still left me less than happy with the town’s godfather.

When Atkinson decided to start a newspaper to rival the Daily Oklahoman, he received almost unanimous support from Midwest City residents and not such a shabby showing by many Oklahoma City residents tired of living in a one-newspaper town.  OKC’s major players, naturally, could not provide any overt support for fear that the Gaylord machine would demote them from the majors to the minors.

The stock issue had pretty respectable sales, with thousands of little folks buying a few shares at a time.  The stocks were divided into “Class A” and “Class B” shares, each costing a modest $2.00.  The rules of the game were that only Class A stocks could vote, but you could only buy a Class A share if you also bought two Class B shares.  My single vote cost me $6.00.

Atkinson, however, was allowed to buy a freight-car load of Class A shares, unencumbered by the nuisance Class B baggage, at par value, which was set at five cents.  His controlling votes cost him a nickle each.

It would be many years before I learned that this is how millionaires are made overnight, and nobody thinks twice about it.  But still.

*

And then there was the sensationalism, as in the front-page editorial with full-color portrait of LBJ.  Atkinson had invested in an offset printing press – the first daily paper to do so.  Offset was a fairly new technology with definite advantages over the older “hot type” presses, for which each page had to be hand-built from lead slugs that were melted and formed, one line at a time, in a Linotype machine.  Offset printing produced darker blacks, more subtle shades of gray and beautifully focused color photos on cheap newsprint.

To show off its state-of-the-art printing press, and shout out the difference in printing quality every morning between The Journal and The Oklahoman, Atkinson’s paper tended to overuse its technology maybe just the slightest bit.

Dog Bites Postman,

a front-page headline might scream.  In fact, all of The Journal’s headlines tended to scream.  We high school journalism students began referring to the paper as “The Yellow Journal,” after the pejorative term coined to describe the over-the-top antics of the New York papers during the Hearst-Pulitzer newspaper wars of the 1890s, when the publishers’ political viewpoints and desire for increased circulation didn’t so much overshadow as became the news.

*

In a famous telegram to the fledgling illustrator Frederic Remington, who had failed to find any anti-American activity by the Spanish colonial power in Cuba in 1898, William Randolph Hearst decreed, “You furnish the illustrations.  I’ll furnish the war.”

Both Atkinson and Gaylord longed for such power.  But while Atkinson could scream louder, Gaylord had the staying power.

*

With a very few exceptions, a successful newspaper relies on two main ingredients: sports and advertising.  News coverage comes in a distant third.  In the Midwest and Southwest, especially, where Oklahomans and Texans are football fanatics and Hoosiers feel they have little to live for between basketball seasons, a paper must devote an outlandish amount of copy space to sports in order to snag a single paid subscription.

But the number of copies sold is only a roundabout way of generating income.  Subscription revenue and the newsstand price account for only a small percentage of total income.  There are many successful throwaways that exist on advertising revenue alone.

It’s the advertising department that makes any newspaper a sustainable business venture.  Advertising revenue makes possible the daily delivery of – in order of importance – sports stories, comics, crossword puzzles and advice columns.  And news, of course.

But ad rates are tied to circulation, so the theory goes that if a publisher pours enough resources into sports coverage, he’ll sell enough papers to raise his advertising rates high enough to pay for the sports coverage and to throw in some news as an added bonus.

On the news side, The Journal had no foreign correspondents and no Washington or New York bureau.  It didn’t even have a full-time staffer in Tulsa; only a part-time “stringer” paid by the article.  There was no national desk or national editor and no state desk or state editor, only a city desk, a city editor and a city staff.

The sports desk stopped barely short of having the same number of reporters and editors as the news department.

*

In addition to full-time staffers, the sports desk employed a large network of stringers:  high school or college kids who covered specific games and called in the stats, with maybe a bit of local color, or even a feature article, if warranted.  It was a plum job for a sports nut who might well be attending the games anyway, and a couple of my high school classmates landed slots as stringers.

*

In my senior year of college, I was stocking shelves in a mini-mart on weekdays and doing janitorial jobs on weekends.  And I was again writing a column for the campus daily newspaper, as I had for the high school paper four years earlier.  This one was called “Dear George,” and was written in the form of a letter to a fictitious friend.  It was biting and angry and satyrical and caused a couple of minor confrontations in the J-school, particularly when I once used the phrase “knocked up” and incurred the wrath of one of the senior professors.

We didn’t use such phrases in mid-America in mid-century.  Euphemisms Were Us.  I could have written sarcastically that if the university didn’t lock up its freshman women at 11 p.m. (which, incredibly, it did), ipso facto, none of these women would be found “in the family way.”

But I still think it was just the slightest bit more effective to write, tongue in cheek: “Lock up your daughters at 11 o’clock and they won’t get knocked up.”

It didn’t insult the students, who were much more worldly than the administration, the Oklahoma legislature or their parents were ready to admit.  But it sure insulted the administration, the legislature and the parents.

*

In the late ‘60s and early ‘70s, Oklahoma students could have their draft deferments withdrawn for exercising their freedom of speech and spouting unpopular opinions.  But probably because my little transgression did not involve politics, I suffered no more serious consequences than nasty letters to the editor and J-school faculty disapproval.

But, despite it all – or maybe because of it all – when The Oklahoma Journal was looking for a stringer to cover OU campus activities, one of its sports stringers suggested my name to the city editor, who called me and offered me the job.

The city editor was Don Rice, the toughest and most acerbic son-of-a-bitch I’ve ever worked for.  Rice wasn’t even thirty years old then, but had already been a reporter, columnist and desk man for The Daily Oklahoman and The Oklahoma City Times, a journalism teacher at Oklahoma City University and was now the de facto editor of the Oklahoma Journal.

I was a long way from his star reporter, but I was treated no differently than the rest of the staff.  Rice treated all of his reporters the same: like shit.  But he challenged their assertions, made them justify their positions and – when he felt he had to – rewrote their copy.

Nobody complained.

Well, that part isn’t true.  We all complained.  We chafed under his tongue lashings and swore dire revenge.  But when he finished with our copy, whether by prodding us to rewrite it or by rewriting it himself, the story was clearer and more focused, and we were proud to see our byline on the piece the next morning.

Rice never let himself be caught mentoring anyone or visibly giving anyone a leg up.  That would have spoiled the tough-guy image he had worked so hard to perfect.  But any reporter willing to learn could improve his skills immensely under his caustic prodding.

John Clabes, the managing editor, was another story entirely.

Unlike Rice, Clabes was smooth and calm on the outside – and nestled comfortably in the back pocket of the advertising manager.  He viewed his job description as “manager in charge of ensuring that no advertiser or potential advertiser suffers hurt feelings.”


Next Up:  Middle America in Mid-Century

Model City — Chapter 23

Reunion

June, 2005.

I look around at the faces of my high-school classmates (I knew them forty – and some of them nearly fifty – years ago) and wonder:  What the hell am I doing here with all these old people?

They’re not just middle-aged, they’re old.  Just 15 years ago, at our 25th reunion, we were in the prime of our lives.  Some of us had gotten fat, some had lost our hair, but mostly we looked like we always did and I had no trouble recognizing anyone.

This time around, there are maybe five or six I recognize immediately.  People who haven’t changed a bit, except for the weight factor.

Just like me.

To place the others, I have to read their name tags – and have to squint to do that, despite my glasses.  I grow old, I grow old.

Fifteen years ago we hadn’t needed name tags.

Only by comparison have I previously felt my age:  when my divorce clients are young enough to be my children or (increasingly nowadays) my grandchildren.  When I look at the intake sheet for a new client, tired, wrinkled, sagging and late-middle-aged, and realize that she’s a year or two younger than me.  When in conversation with another adult, I drop a comment about Elvis Presley on the Ed Sullivan Show or the Cuban Missile Crisis and draw a blank look.

When I remember that my daughter does not remember a world without VCRs or how excited I was when I bought my first computer for the office.

Otherwise, I’m still the brash, insecure kid I always was.  Damned if I’ll wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.  I don’t look any different to me, and my high-school classmates are not supposed to look any different, either.

But these people, these old people, lumpy and misshapen, bloated and bald, show me that I am wrong.

Baby Boomers aren’t supposed to age, only to mature.  We have been the most powerful collection of people since Ghengis Khan’s Golden Horde.  We changed the face of every city in the nation in the 1950′s with our demand for schools.  In the 1960′s, we changed the entire entertainment industry with our sheer numbers and purchasing power.

We also forced radical changes in the advertising industry, the publishing world and the food service industry.

We are responsible for McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Jack-in-the- Box.

Sorry.

(But our children and grandchildren have had more than ample revenge on us by not understanding that McDonald’s “secret sauce” is merely Thousand Island dressing, and that a properly prepared dish of frites is a miracle which doesn’t need half a bottle of catsup.)

We changed the nation’s political scene in the 1970′s and brought an end to the Vietnam War.

We ended Jim Crow and forced major concessions in the area of equal treatment for all minorities, although this is still a work in progress.

We can’t get old.  We can’t die.  We’re invincible.  And besides, the world needs us.

Probably awash in Chardonnay in Bricktown, Oklahoma City (Boy! – or, excuse me, Sheeeitt! – has Oklahoma come a long way since I lived here), I express my rage-against-the-dying-of-the-light thoughts to another Midwest City High School Bomber, Class of ‘65.

“You know,” says the Bomber, “you had a favorite saying in high school.  You used it all the time: ‘The world is not a kindergarten.’”

He was pretty close.  Actually, I still use the phrase, but it’s not mine; I only quote it.  It comes from a 1950′s television adaptation of Bud Schulberg’s “What Makes Sammy Run?”:

“‘Fair?’  What kind of a sissy word is ‘fair?’  This isn’t a kindergarten.  This is the world!”

So much for invincibility.  Nature reclaims.  But how unfair of him to turn my own words against me.

Coming Up Next:  A Leg Up

The Mother’s Day Peeper

There was the Mother’s Day of the Butt Crack and the pile of dog poop; there was the Mother’s Day of rescuing the family from an auto accident on the San Mateo Bridge, and there was the Mother’s Day of the Peeping Tom.

When we started comparing notes with the neighbors later, many of them reported seeing collections of cigarette butts on the ground just outside their bedroom windows.  But nobody in the neighborhood knew what was going on until he zeroed in on our house.

*

Marianne’s house had a semi-circular gravel driveway which passed by the front bedroom and the living room before looping back out onto the street.  Late one evening as we lay in bed, lights still on, we heard the crunch, crunch, crunch of footsteps coming down the driveway and stopping.  I got up and put on a robe.

“Don’t go out there,” Marianne cautioned.  “You don’t know who it is.”  “Aaahhhh,” I said, dismissively.

*

I tend to do stupid things like that.

My office parking lot is sandwiched between two buildings, so most of the lot isn’t visible from the street unless you are directly in front of its entrance.  A couple of years earlier, I watched out of my office window in fascination as two scruffy-looking types in a nondescript car backed into my lot, waited a while, pulled forward towards the street, looked up and down the street and then backed up again.  This happened two or three times, and it was obvious the guys were hiding, but also looking for something – or someone – to come along.

I couldn’t take it any more, so I left my office and walked up to the passenger side of the car.  “Hi, guys.  What’s the cops-and-robbers game?”

“Who wants to know?”  “This is my office and my building.  I think you guys better take a hike before I call the sheriff.”  “Mister, we are the sheriff.  This is a stakeout and you’re in the way.”  “Ri-i-i-ght.  What are your names?”

So they told me their names and ranks and I walked into the insurance office at the back end of my building to use their phone to call the sheriff’s office.  It took a while to verify, since the desk sergeant was rightly suspicious of a stranger calling to ask if two of his deputies were on an undercover stakeout.  Finally, however, he confirmed that they were legit and warned me to leave them alone.

“I can’t freakin’ believe you just did that, Dimick,” said Jim the insurance broker.  “You’ve got more balls than brains!”

“And I have more life insurance than either,” I retorted.

*

I tend to do stupid things like that.

Marianne breeds dogs for Canine Companions for Independence, the organization out of Santa Rosa that trains service dogs for placement with people with disabilities.  CCI has a number of select “breeder caretakers,” who agree to take a breeding bitch and raise her litters.  The CCI folks, with the help of their geneticists and their extensive database, decide whom the bitch will be mated with and all the pups are delivered back to Santa Rosa at eight weeks.

The organization also has a lengthy roster of “puppy raisers” who take the eight-week-old puppies into their homes and train them for 14 to 16 months before they are turned back in to begin their advance training.  The requirements for graduation, and placement with a handicapped person, are so strict that only about 30% of the pups end up as service dogs.

Our current breeder is a golden retriever, whose first litter totaled 11 pups.  Quite a chore at feeding time, as a dog only has ten nipples.  Three weeks ago, when the pups were eight weeks old, we packed them all into the back of my son-in-law’s pickup and headed off for CCI’s Santa Rosa campus.  About an hour north of home, traffic came to a complete stop on the freeway and we were making maybe half a mile an hour, but couldn’t see ahead of us to what the holdup was.

It turned out to be an overturned big rig blocking all three freeway lanes a few miles up ahead, and the Highway Patrol was diverting traffic onto a freeway off ramp and onto the surface roads.  But we didn’t know that at the time.

I couldn’t take it anymore, so I stepped out of the pickup and began to stroll along the center median up towards the CHP cars.  Suddenly, a black-and-white came speeding towards me on the median, screeched to a halt and disgorged a twenty-something officer with a God complex.

“DO YOU WANT TO GO TO JAIL???” he screamed at me.  “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”

I’ve often heard somebody described as “almost foaming at the mouth,” but I’d never actually seen one before.

“No harm, officer,” I said.  “Just want to see what’s going on.”

“DO YOU WANT TO GO TO JAIL??!!” he demanded again.  “GET BACK TO YOUR CAR!”

“Okay, okay, okay,” I obliged, raising my hands above my head in mock surrender and turning around.  The threat of going to jail was, of course, bullshit, since I was guilty of an infraction, at most.  But I turned around and headed back to the truck, walking on the grassy median.

“GET OFF THE MEDIAN!”  I moved off the median onto the pavement.  “GET OFF THE FREEWAY!”  I moved off of the pavement back onto the grass.

I wondered how I could get back to the truck without walking on either the freeway or the median, but knew better than to argue, as I might have in other circumstances.  This kid was so wound up that it was entirely possible that an “accident” could have happened to me while “resisting arrest” or “trying to escape.”

“I can’t freakin’ believe you just did that,” Mark said when I got back into the truck.

Twenty minutes later, when we finally got up to the barrier and passed the boy cop, I gave him a friendly wave.

*

But I was writing about Mother’s Day.

*

I opened the front door and stepped out onto the curved driveway, quickly enough that the guy didn’t have time to run.

“Can I help you with something?”

“Oh…ah…I…ah…just needed to take a leak so I…ah…thought I’d hide behind your bushes.”

“Well, go do it someplace else.”  “Okay.  I’m sorry.  Didn’t mean to disturb you.”

Nothing really struck me as suspicious yet.  But 30 or 45 minutes later, lights out now, we were just dozing off when we heard it again: crunch…crunch…crunch.  Footsteps coming down the gravel driveway.

Marianne, who had been suspicious from the beginning, decided to call the cops.  And so, five minutes later, up the street with sirens blasting, CB radios blaring and gumball-machine lights flashing, came a contingent of sheriff’s patrol units.

It must have been a slow night for crime.

What with all the commotion, we missed the sound of his escape, although we did hear the dogs barking in the back yard and later pieced together that he had jumped the front fence into the back yard, jumped the back fence into the neighbor’s yard and either hid there or kept jumping until he was in the clear.

So the deputies took the report, together with my vague description of the perp and we tried again to go to sleep.  Anger and adrenalin made sure neither one of us was particularly sleepy, so we were still awake when, half an hour later, we heard the crunch…crunch…crunch.

Now I was really pissed, but a warning hadn’t worked and the sheriffs were useless so I did the most logical thing I could think of.  I spread open the slats of the mini blinds, pressed my face hard against the window pane and let out the most blood-curdling scream I could muster:

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

He ran like hell and never bothered us again.

Model City – Chapter 22

The King of Midwest City

Time and again I try,

Time and again I fail.

Noel Coward

1957 – 1962


In the ninth grade in 1961, I was chosen as one of a group of students to become “Junior Statesmen for a Day.”  Each Junior Statesman was paired with a local official and tagged along with the official on his official rounds.  A Midwest City councilman drew my name.

The City Council was a part-time advisory board, its members all holding full-time jobs in the private sector.  Midwest City, like Oklahoma City, its older stepbrother, had a “weak mayor” system of government, with pretty much all decisions being made by the city manager.  The council’s job was to either rubber-stamp the city manager’s policies and decisions, or to fire him and hire a new one.

So instead of tagging along with a “Statesman” going about his daily business, I only got to attend a council meeting for two hours in the evening, sitting at the raised table with my assigned councilman and listening mostly to applications for zoning variances.

The tenth or fifteenth agenda item came up, the applicant pleaded his case and the chairman asked if there were opposition statements, knowing full well why the distinguished gentleman was sitting in the front row with his large rolls of architectural paper.

“The Chair recognizes Mr. Atkinson,” said the Chair.  “Are you opposed to the application?”

W.P. “Bill” Atkinson, founder of the town, Sunday school teacher, breeder of Shetland ponies, future gubernatorial candidate and future founder and publisher of The Oklahoma Journal, nodded and strolled to the podium.

“Gentlemen, in 1948 the Finest Architects and City Planners in the World were commissioned to draw up a Master Plan for the City of Midwest City,” he began.  After 15 years of treating his city as a chess board, with himself moving the white pieces, Atkinson was unused to asking for permission.  He knew that if you moved your pieces just so, and secured your support in advance, you could afford to be humble.  Humble was, after all, your public image.

“You Gentlemen know that Midwest City has been honored by Many Organizations for its Design and for its Planning for the Future, which began as long ago as 1942, and which was memorialized by a Master Plan in 1948,” he continued.  “Throughout the years, the Master Plan has served as a Guideline for Development – and It Has Always Been Proven To Be Right.

“The Master Plan envisioned not only the Layout of the City Streets, but also determined where Commercial Development should go, for the Betterment and Convenience of the Citizens.”

He really talked like that, in capital letters, when he was on his soapbox.

“The Master Plan has proved itself to be An Exceedingly Good Plan.  It has anticipated Traffic Flow, Increased Housing, the Need for More Shopping and the Location of that Shopping.  If the City Council has ever been In Doubt, it has always turned to the Master Plan, and the Master Plan has always provided the Right Answer.”

I have to assume that nobody on the dais or in the audience was checking off how many times the phrase “Master Plan” was used that evening.  Midwest City was not a hotbed of authority-questioners.

“It has been my Great Pleasure and my Great Honor to champion the Master Plan on Many Occasions, and I do so again tonight because This Proposal” and here he unrolled his drawings, “is in Direct Opposition to the Master Plan.

“This property was planned to be, and has been zoned as, Office Space.  This Entire One-Mile Stretch of Road,” he traced the one-mile stretch with his forefinger, “has carefully delineated sections for residential…   retail…   office…”

My eyes glazed over.  Atkinson went on at length, but I stopped listening.  Why did he care, I wondered.  Why not put office space here and retail space there?  After all, they’re only two or three blocks apart.

But retail space, as I later learned, can command much higher rents than office space.  Atkinson didn’t own the parcel at issue, the parcel zoned for offices, the parcel whose owner was seeking to have rezoned for retail.  What Atkinson owned was the parcel down the street already zoned for retail.

Too much speculative retail construction in too close a proximity to existing retail buildings can cause the bugaboo of supply-and-demand to kick in:  too much supply = lower rents; lower rents = lower property values.

I suspect there was also a non-mathematical component to the equation: thwarting the Master Plan = Loss of control.

Not surprisingly, the application for a zoning variance was denied.

**

Born in Texas in 1907, five months before Oklahoma statehood, William P. Atkinson, aka W.P. “Bill” Atkinson (he would legally add “Bill” to his name by court decree and drop the quote marks during his first gubernatorial campaign in 1958) obtained degrees in business administration and journalism from Texas Christian University before moving to up-and-coming Oklahoma City, where he published a newspaper aimed at city churches and taught journalism at a local university.  Not doing all that well in the publishing business, he turned his hand to selling real estate, a career in which he had a distinct talent.

Real estate was to be his life’s work and, in the end, his only legacy.

From selling real estate, he branched into developing real estate for the rapidly expanding city.  According to his own accounts, he developed a flair for identifying the next direction for city growth, buying up property and building what we now refer to as “spec” houses – houses not built on contract with an owner but with the speculation that they would sell eventually.

Despite the recent Dust Bowl and the lingering Depression throughout the late 1930′s and early ‘40′s, upper-middle-class houses continued to be built and sold in Oklahoma City.  The Daily Oklahoman was full of ads for Atkinson’s new houses.  He became so successful, in fact, that he was invited to join the inner sanctum of the Oklahoma City Chamber of Commerce, and the Chamber virtually controlled city politics and growth, overshadowing the mayor, city manager and city council.

If the Chamber of Commerce controlled Oklahoma City, E.K. Gaylord controlled the Chamber of Commerce.  Second only to Gaylord was Chamber executive Stanley Draper, whose name would later be placed on many a city monument, including a reservoir east of Midwest City.  For decades, Gaylord and Draper managed to put their names on nearly every city project of any significance.  Atkinson, along with any successful businessman who hoped to have any influence in the city, became one of Gaylord’s “boys.”

And then war broke out in Europe.

Despite Charles Lindbergh and other isolationists, FDR and the military realized that it was only a matter of time until the United States would be dragged into the conflict.  Congress and the Pentagon began making plans for three new aircraft supply and repair depots  – one in the northeast part of the country, one in the mideast and one in the midwest.  Later information indicated that the “midwest” air depot might be located anywhere between Kansas City and Dallas.

With only this sketchy information in hand, Draper went to work, sending lobbyists and Chamber representatives to Washington, D.C., to secure as many defense contracts as possible for Oklahoma City, and to push for the “Midwest Air Depot” to be located in or near the city.

Draper also formed the Industries Foundation, Inc., with subscriptions from local businessmen, to acquire options for the purchase of land to donate to the Department of War as a location for the new aircraft base (and, of course, as an incentive for locating it near Oklahoma City.)  The Department had made it clear that it needed – among other requirements – nearly 1,000 acres of flat terrain, a power supply, water, a railroad line and a paved highway to the base from downtown Wherever.  It did not intend to pay for any of this.

The Industries Foundation chose two sites it felt would be ideal for the base and quietly acquired options to purchase land at each site.  Only two or three people in the city knew the locations of the sites that were being shown to representatives of the War Department, and they weren’t talking.  After all, if word got out, land speculators would descend en masse, possibly raising the eventual purchase price.

Although they didn’t miss “the big picture” of landing this industrial plum, Gaylord, Draper and the Chamber missed the little picture.  They wanted a major air base on the outskirts of Oklahoma City because of the perks it would bring to the city:  chiefly demand for housing and millions of shopping dollars pouring into city businesses each year.  It would also be good for the city’s image.

Bill Atkinson thought a bit smaller.  What if – just what if – this new military facility ten to twenty miles outside of town were almost self-contained?  What if housing and shopping were available immediately adjacent to the base?  Just because the Army Air Corps needed 1,000 acres for runways and mile-long buildings (and there would later be a building a mile long), why should military and civilian personnel have to drive all that way from the city to work or to the city to shop?

And why shouldn’t a savvy real estate developer dip his own bread into the federal gravy – as an afterthought to serving the public good, of course.

*

Atkinson was not alone.  Other developers began privately buying or optioning large tracts of land on the city’s outskirts, hoping to cash in on the boom.  Most of these centered their hopes west or northwest of the city.  Atkinson went southeast.

In later years, he would regale listeners with how simple it was.  “Gaylord’s newspapers actually published the War Department’s requirements,” he would chuckle.  “It had to be within ten miles of downtown, more than four miles from the nearest oil well and very close to a railroad line.”

So Atkinson took a simple compass and a map, drew a circle ten miles in radius from downtown, charted all of the oil wells and railroad lines and deduced the most likely spot.  “Anybody could have done it,” he would later say.  “I don’t know why they didn’t.”

*

The problem with Atkinson’s story was that neither of E.K. Gaylord’s two daily newspapers published these requirements, not in the specific issue cited often by Atkinson, nor in any other issue.  The closest the papers came was in reporting that the War Department was considering two locations near Oklahoma City, each within twenty miles of downtown.  No mention of oil wells.  No mention of railroads.

The difference between a ten-square-mile radius from Oklahoma City and a twenty-square-mile radius is enormous.  A ten-square-mile radius gives an area of 314 square miles, or just over 200,000 acres.  Subtract from these the city limits, rivers, creeks and developed areas, adjust for flat terrain, an available 1,000-acre parcel of land, oil wells and railroad lines and your choices become quite limited.

On the other hand, a twenty-square-mile radius gives an area of 1,256 square miles, or well over 800,000 acres.  Adjust for the same factors as above and your possible sites are multiplied exponentially.

Atkinson, therefore, did not get his triangulation coordinates from the newspaper.  He had to have received his knowledge from inside, probably from insider contacts in Washington, where he had been spending a great deal of time for the past year cultivating Oklahoma congressmen and War Department officials.  We’ll never really know for certain.  Until his dying day, he maintained that the basic information was published for all to read, and only he had moxie enough to unravel the puzzle.

For some reason, Atkinson’s story never rang true to me but many of those who worked most closely with him still swear they believe it.

**

Southeast 29th Street has always been the dividing line between Tinker Air Force Base (formerly the Midwest Air Depot) and Midwest City.  Atkinson determined that the likely location for the depot was in the wheat fields along S.E. 29th, about five miles from downtown Oklahoma City.  According to his account, he found the farmers on the south side of 29th to be closed-mouthed and reluctant to discuss selling.  He concluded that the Industries Foundation had been there before him.

On the north side, however, landowners were quite willing to sell.  Atkinson bought parcels totaling 360 acres – half a square mile – but didn’t record the deeds just yet.  This half-section became the original townsite and remained the center of town for nearly 30 years.

The United States had still not entered the war when the announcement was made in February, 1941, that Oklahoma City would be the site of the Midwest Air Depot.  When Gaylord, Draper and the Industries Foundation discovered that an anonymous buyer had purchased a half-section of land just across the street from the new depot, they were not pleased, but they held their peace.

Whatever else Atkinson may have been, he was not without a gambler’s instinct, a gambler’s poker face and a gambler’s sang-froid.  It was possible – even probable – that the depot would close after the war, leaving hundreds of houses empty across the street to the north.  So, instead of a mere housing addition, Atkinson decided to build a town, complete with shopping (Atkinson Plaza, naturally), a city hall, library, schools, parks and churches – and houses too, of course.

He called it Midwest City.

*

Little more than a year later, Draper and the Chamber of Commerce recommended to the War Department that the name of the base be changed to “Tinker Field,” after Maj. Gen. Clarence Tinker, an Osage Indian from Oklahoma who was killed during the Battle of Midway.

Done and done.  The former Midwest Air Depot, just across the street from Midwest City, is today known as Tinker Air Force Base.

Payback, even in small doses, is so sweet.

**

Before leaving Washington, D.C., Atkinson secured the services of Stewart Mott, a senior land planning official in the Federal Housing Administration, to plan the new city.  Mott designed curved, mostly short streets and cul-de-sacs, with the few straight streets only a block or two long, which explains how I got lost so easily on my first day in Midwest City.  Streets in Oklahoma City were laid out on a grid:  north-south, east-west, twelve blocks to the mile.  You always knew where you were.

Mott’s theory was to make each neighborhood safe for children to play.  It was difficult for a car to reach a high speed in Midwest City neighborhoods, and it would be nearly two decades before the city’s first traffic fatality.

Water tower

Ubiquitious Oklahoma water tower

Mott’s design for the initial townsite had the town’s main entrance, Mid America Boulevard, running between the east and west wings of Atkinson Plaza for about three blocks and then bumping into three nesting oval-shaped street patterns: a small egg supporting a large egg which, in turn, contained a medium-sized egg.  The first and smallest egg, surrounded by East and West Mid-America Boulevard, contained the city offices (fire department, police department, library, city hall and, of course, the municipal water tower).  Branching off from the smallest egg was the largest oval shape, formed by East and West Rickenbacker Drive.  Inside Rickenbacker but still branching from Mid-America was the middle-sized egg, formed by East and West Lockheed Drive.

And radiating from the three eggs were streets named alphabetically for aircraft manufacturers: East and West Aeronca, East and West Boeing, East and West Curtis, Douglas, Ercoupe, Fairchild and Grumann.

Although the boundaries of the town grew rapidly in the next twenty years, and would continue to grow steadily for another thirty, in the 1950′s and 1960′s the original townsite was still “downtown” to most people – particularly young teenagers.  It had most of the major shopping destinations, the original high school (later to become the first of two junior high schools) and it had the Skytrain Theater, scene of many a pubescent tryst and many a teenage prank.

*

Just as Oklahoma City, Guthrie and their surrounding wheat fields sprouted overnight from the hard prairie sod after the Run of ‘89, Midwest City sprouted from the still-young wheat fields after the location of the depot was announced.  But rather than being the result of a “Run,” Midwest City started one.

Every real estate agent, developer and entrepreneur for ten counties around descended on Southeast 29th Street, only to find that the Industries Foundation had tied up all the land to the south and Atkinson either owned or had options on everything to the north.  Draper and his backers in the Industries Foundation donated their site to the federal government as an investment.  Atkinson intended to hang on to his.

The Department of War broke ground on the new air depot in mid-1941 and Atkinson did the same on his new city in mid-1942.  But between these two events, the country entered World War II and suddenly it seemed that everything was rationed: not just silk and rubber and gasoline and butter and sugar, but also housing starts.  In 1943, the Oklahoma City area was allotted 700 building permits.  They all went to Bill Atkinson.

While his map-and-compass story made for great re-telling over the years, Atkinson seems not to have talked for publication about the Miracle of the Building Permits.  He did, however, in a gesture of fellowship (or a tactical retreat), offer to share his permits with a group of other developers.  After all, there were plenty of profits to go around.  And, after all, he owned the land.

Atkinson’s dream was incorporated as a city in 1943, with a population of a mere 600.  By the end of the following year, it boasted nearly 1,500 homes, translating into a population of probably between 5,000 and 7,000.

At the end of the war, the Douglas Aircraft Company plant closed.  Douglas was another Stanley Draper plum, located at Tinker Field, and had once employed 24,000 workers.  But just as Atkinson had predicted, the air base did not close down nor did demand for housing slack off.

In fact, because of returning servicemen and the end of wartime rationing and restrictions, the boom was only beginning.  Three new housing developments were added in 1947, four in 1948, two in 1949, six in 1950 and a whopping nine in 1951 – including five projects in the Glenwood area where I spent the first several years of my Midwest City life.

Atkinson formed a variety of companies to service and profit from the rapid building, including (from the top down) development, construction, real estate, lumber, hardware and plumbing.  He developed a factory to construct what we now call “modular housing,” in which nearly all units – roof trusses, walls, trimmed-out windows and doors, entire sections of flooring – were pre-assembled at one location and trucked a few blocks to the construction site.  By late 1946 he was manufacturing two complete houses per day – and shooting for ten.

Then came the Korean War.  Then came the Cold War.  Then came the Vietnam War.  Traffic at Tinker hardly ever slowed, nor did the demand for adjacent housing and shopping.  Tinker’s personnel roster has risen and fallen slightly over the last half-century, but has usually hovered around 20,000 civilian employees and an equal number of military personnel.

In the 1970′s, the base’s Public Information Office claimed that the base employed one out of nine workers in the Greater Oklahoma City area and one out of thirty-five workers in the entire state.

*

Before a single foundation was poured, Atkinson was bragging that his $4 million development, expected to include schools, shops, parks and nearly 700 houses, would be a “model town.”  He made his prediction come true the easy way.

Just as he had worked his way up the ranks of the Oklahoma City Chamber of Commerce, Atkinson joined the National Association of Home Builders and became the organization’s president in 1951.  From 1948 to 1950, he was chairman of NAHB’s national contest to name “America’s Model City.”

In what would be W.P.’s third miracle in a decade, Midwest City won the contest.  The city still widely promotes this honor in its publications and on its web site, but for at least 40 years no attribution has been given.  The official line always goes something like this: “In 1951, Midwest City was honored as ‘America’s Model City.’”

*

No doubt about it, however, W.P. loved his city, nurtured and supported it and loved the role of paterfamilias.  He gave to every charity and civic project, joined many of the service clubs, offered Shetland pony rides to children on Sundays at his 160-acre parcel just north of town and allowed teenagers to hold dances in his barn.

As one usually gushing source noted with an atypical degree of candor, “as the city grew and town amenities became necessary, he helped finance community projects.  He provided lumber for the new library and land for the country club.  Of course every addition to the town became an incentive for people to move there, and every new house meant a bonus to W.P.  But no one could call him an absentee landlord.”

And when he wasn’t on his soapbox or in his business mode, he was a sort of “Uncle Bill,” friendly, jocular and eminently approachable.

On a whim one Saturday afternoon, my brother Rick and I rode our bicycles up the long driveway to his house, where we discovered Mr. and Mrs. Atkinson (I have to revert to the formal, here; I was only 12) sitting on the lawn in the shade.  They called us over, poured us lemonade and talked to us for a good half-hour, as if we were family.  I couldn’t know that in less than ten years, I would become an Atkinson employee.

*

During my second stint at Atkinson’s paper, The Oklahoma Journal, I was the entertainment editor (and sole staff), and was showered with stacks of tickets to movies, the theater, ballet, orchestral and rock concerts.  Even in Oklahoma City, I couldn’t find time to review everything and gave away many of the tickets, particularly to an Atkinson grandson who worked in the paper’s composing room.  Before long, it became accepted that I would provide the kid with free tickets to any rock concert he wanted.  The teenage heir seemed to have his own little racket going on.

Eventually, I said no.  “I’ll have my grandfather make you,” he threatened.  “That’s fine, Joe.  You just go right ahead.  Your grandpa pays my salary, and he knows where to find me.”

Two days later, Joe was back.  “Mr. Dimick?  My grandfather says…uh, I mean, I want to apologize to you.  I was out of line.  I’m sorry.”

I was in no position to be losing a job at the time, so I wonder how much of my refusal was due to a leftover teenage, in-your-face, don’t-push-me attitude and how much to any real bravery.  At the time, however, I patted myself on the back for my moral courage, patted Joe on the back and said that, of course, there would be more tickets in the future – just not on demand.

**

Although Midwest City’s growth and progress – and Atkinson’s career – continued to be covered fairly impartially in the pages of The Daily Oklahoman, Atkinson himself was no longer in the inner circles of Oklahoma City politics.  He first alienated Stanley Draper and E.K. Gaylord by going behind their backs and personally profiting from Tinker Air Force Base, did it again during the annexation wars and yet again by thwarting plans to make the Midwest City post office only a branch the Oklahoma City post office.

But Atkinson still longed to play with the big boys.  So in 1957, the year I moved to Midwest City, with his town established, thriving and no longer in need of a micro-manager, he decided to run for governor.

Many years later, he called all work to a halt at The Oklahoma Journal for an employee pep rally at the Uptown Cafeteria, just across the street from The Journal and Atkinson’s unofficial headquarters for years.  “I want to tell you why The Journal is here,” he began, and gave most of the speech without his usual soap-box-style capital letters.

“I used to be one of E.K. Gaylord’s fair-haired boys,” he said.  This was a favorite phrase of his.  “I ran his errands, I did his bidding and I supported his politics.  I was a Mover and a Shaker in the Chamber of Commerce and Oklahoma City politics.”  Capital letters again.

“And then, I committed an unpardonable sin: I figured out where the new air base was going to be.  Personally, I think Midwest City has done pretty well.  We don’t want to be just another Oklahoma City neighborhood, do we?”  He was, of course, preaching to the converted, but he knew his audience.

“But Gaylord never forgave me for that.  And when I first ran for governor in 1958, he wouldn’t sell me any advertising in his newspaper.

“I actually went to him and begged.  I did everything but get down on my knees.  ‘Mr. Gaylord, please!  Let’s have an open race.  You don’t have to support me, but please let me at least buy advertising.’

“He absolutely refused, and I lost the race.  And it happened again four years later.  If Mr. Gaylord had allowed me a fair shot at advertising in his papers, I would have been elected.  That’s when I decided that central Oklahoma needs – deserves – a newspaper that will Tell Both Sides!

“That’s why we’re here today.  That’s why you are here.  That’s why The Journal is here.  To give the People of Oklahoma a source of all the news – not just what Mr. Gaylord wants to print.”

*

It was a stirring speech and much cheaper than paying a living wage to his staffers.  Atkinson told the same story, or variations of it, throughout the years.  He told it so often that it became part of Midwest City folklore.  One writer, nearly forty years later, noted that Gaylord “refused to accept any advertising from the Atkinson campaign.  With the state’s largest paper officially ignoring his candidacy, Atkinson bought lots of TV time, but viewers found him less appealing than the telegenic J. Howard Edmondson, who swept to victory.”

The problem with the story is that it isn’t true.  Gaylord became truly vindictive with his advertising policies after Atkinson’s Oklahoma Journal began publishing, but he did not refuse to sell political advertising to Atkinson, nor did his newspapers ignore Atkinson’s candidacy.

(For a while after the founding of Atkinson’s rival newspaper, Gaylord refused to accept advertising from any merchant who also bought ad space in The Journal.  When he discovered that some advertisers were having their Sunday inserts printed on Atkinson’s superior offset presses and then delivering them to The Oklahoman, he refused to distribute these “pre-prints” until Atkinson took him to court and won.)

*

Until recently amended, the Oklahoma Constitution prohibited a governor from succeeding himself.  Governor Raymond Gary, who would run again four years later, was saddled with charges of “machine politics” and several financial and voter scandals during his term and might not have won the Democratic primary in 1958, even had he been eligible to run.  A flock of career politicians and newcomers filed to succeed him.

The Daily Oklahoman quoted unnamed political sources as rating Atkinson “the man to beat” in the coming campaign and noted just ninety days before the primaries that “Atkinson is well out in front in organization and potential support.”  Early in the campaign, however, only one thing was certain:  whoever won the Democratic primary would be the next governor.

The campaign turned nasty early on and remained that way.  Since he was “the man to beat,” all of the candidates began sniping at Atkinson.  Several of them, including Edmondson, charged he was part of – and would continue – the policies and allegedly corrupt practices of the “Gary Machine.”  Atkinson countered that Edmondson, a 33-year-old district attorney from oil-rich Tulsa, was in the pocket of J. Paul Getty.  (A Gaylord editorial noted drily that “It is doubtful if [Getty even knows] there is an election in Oklahoma.”)

To everyone’s surprise, Atkinson came in second to Edmondson and his “prairie fire” campaign in the July primary, although by fewer than 1,000 votes.  Since there were eleven Democratic candidates, neither of the top two vote getters gained a majority.

Mud flew fast in the runoff race over the next three weeks – a race which The Daily Oklahoman termed the “dirtiest and crookedest campaign ever waged in Oklahoma.”  Edmondson made public the racially restrictive covenants contained in every Midwest City deed, revelations Atkinson never claimed were untrue, but which he decried as hitting “below the belt” and attempting to stir up racial divisions.  Atkinson hinted darkly at secrets he had uncovered about Edmondson but was too honorable to use in a political campaign.

Atkinson’s newspaper ads (and, despite his later claims, he ran more political advertisements in The Daily Oklahoman – including full-page ads – than did Edmondson) compared the two candidates in a variety of categories of experience and platforms.  The best was “School Experience.”

W.P. Bill Atkinson: Has been a school teacher and helped build the state’s fourth largest school system in the city he founded.

His Opponent: Was a student.”

But W.P. made two fatal mistakes which probably cost him the election.  Until these missteps, not only was The Daily Oklahoman’s news coverage of his campaign relatively fair and balanced, but even its editorials were fairly benign.

First, an Atkinson staff member forged an Edmondson campaign flyer, completely misstating Edmondson’s stand on a number of hot-button issues.  Atkinson was not only slow to distance himself from the charges, but instead of condemning the flyer and promising retribution on the overzealous staffer, he suggested that his opponent’s staff had cooked up the scheme to make him look bad.

The Daily Oklahoman had a field day, printing the forged handbill in its entirety, calling Atkinson’s tactics “a disgrace to the state of Oklahoma” and referring to the fake flyer as the “most dastardly act of the Atkinson campaign.”

The day before Gaylord’s scathing editorial was published, Atkinson made his second serious blunder: he went on the attack against Gaylord, and his diatribe appeared in the same issue of The Daily Oklahoman as Gaylord’s first real editorial attack against him.

Charging that Gaylord was opposed to his campaign because he had fought against Oklahoma City’s annexation plans the year before1, Atkinson told a gathering that “you are going to read in the morning paper that Mr. Gaylord does not like me one bit,” and predicted that if Edmonson won the election, Midwest City would be annexed to Oklahoma City.  “This campaign against me is the result of my telling Mr. Gaylord ‘No.’  Had I followed his dictates, I could have had his support.  It wasn’t worth the price.  I have never been one to knuckle under, not even to E.K. Gaylord.”

.

_____________________________________________________________

1As Oklahoma City went on an annexation spree to try to absorb – or at least to surround – Tinker Air Force Base, the Chamber of Commerce adopted the motto “600,000 in ‘60,” which was printed on all of its publications and all of the city’s telephone books.  The City Council, the Chamber and its eminence grise, Stanley Draper, wanted control over all regional development and wanted to prevent housing development that might be in the way of future Tinker expansion.  Plus, there was a certain cachet to reaching the magic population figure of 600,000 and of being able to brag temporarily about being the largest city (by area) in the United States and the third largest in the world.

Through a quirk in Oklahoma law, a city could annex adjacent areas without a vote of the landowners.  So Oklahoma City began annexing in all directions, but particularly in the areas surrounding Tinker Air Force Base.  Midwest City retaliated by beginning an annexation plan of its own, which was fine with Atkinson, since he owned most of the annexed land.  Both sides, as well as several other surrounding cities, began annexing in a panic, either offensively or defensively, as in a game of Go.  In eight years, Oklahoma City’s area grew eightfold, to more than 640 square miles.

When a bill was proposed in the legislature to allow Oklahoma City to annex existing towns by a majority vote of the big city and the little town – virtually assuring a favorable vote – it was supported by Gaylord and Draper, but opposed by Atkinson, who successfully spoke against it in a joint session of the Oklahoma legislature.  Atkinson later claimed that Draper had warned him not to fight the annexation bill or he would never be elected governor.

____________________________________________________________

.

It might have seemed a gutsy move to Atkinson at the time, or maybe it was sheer desperation.  Either way, it cemented the enmity between Atkinson and Gaylord, which might have been patched up without serious compromise by either side, given different tactics by the candidate.

And it did not resonate with the voters.  Atkinson lost the Democratic runoff by a margin of more than two-to-one and Edmondson became governor.

**

Four years later, there were only six Democratic candidates seeking to replace Edmondson, including former Governor Gary.  After an initial overwhelming headstart by Atkinson, late polls had the two leading candidates, Atkinson and Gary, running so close that the only certainty Oklahoma Democrats had was the perennially comforting knowledge that the winner of the primary would be the next governor.

Atkinson had spent a year closeted with economists and political advisors and developed a detailed plan for the state’s finances which called for a raise in the state’s sales tax from two percent to three percent.  His plan was to convert state financing into a “pay as you go” structure, and to pour large amounts of money into improving schools, colleges, highways and mental health programs.

The Daily Oklahoman’s news pages were as fair to Atkinson as to all the other candidates, and provided him extensive space in which to tout his platforms.  And while Gary bought twice as many political ads in the paper, W.P.’s many full-page ads show that he was not barred from advertising this time around, either.

Unfortunately, one of the ads was a reprint of an endorsement editorial from the Tulsa World, without the customary label that it was “A Political Advertisement” or was “Paid for by…”  Instead, a large headline labeled it as “EDITORIAL.”

Gaylord held his guns until the day before the primary before announcing, in a genuine editorial, that the Atkinson ad had been placed when all of the paper’s senior officials were at a convention in New York and apologizing for its misleading nature.  He accused Atkinson of lying on his campaign expenditure filings of four years before and of exceeding by six times the legal expenditure limit in the current race.  Asserting that “Atkinson’s campaigns are always based on deceit,” the editorial concluded (in language that itself could have used a good editor) that “the citizens of Oklahoma need, above everything, an honorable man in the governor’s chair.  A deceitful man is not morally honest.”

Gaylord’s positions were usually nothing if not predictable, but he was not one to allow consistency to stand in the way of retribution against his enemies.  Where once he had been a formidable critic of Gary and of the scandals during his term of office, he was now practically effusive in his praise for the former governor.  Although Gary had made mistakes while in office, he wrote, “he readily admits them,” and “is in a position to give the state a progressive administration and avoid mistakes of the past.”

After Atkinson won the inevitable runoff by only 900 votes, Gaylord initiated full-scale war.  Where he had once been the state’s staunchest Democrat, he was now solidly behind the Republican candidate.  Where four years before he had editorialized in favor of a penny increase in the sales tax, he now referred to it continually as “a fifty percent increase,” and sliced up selected Atkinson statistics to demonstrate the faulty Atkinson math.

The race between Atkinson and Republican Henry Bellmon was sheer boredom compared with the war between Atkinson and Gaylord.  News stories and opinion pieces were heavily laced with tales and speculation about voter revolt, legislative revolt, Democratic defection and the like.  Bellmon’s speeches were printed in their entirety.  The Sunday front-page editorials became daily occurrences as the election neared.

Atkinson either couldn’t take the stress or couldn’t control his anger.  His speeches grew more shrill each day as he lashed out at Bellmon and Gaylord – and The Daily Oklahoman gave him plenty of space to injure himself.

Starting with a telegram to Gaylord in which he stated, reasonably enough, that “your personal animosity toward my candidacy is well known,” he descended into charges that Gaylord was trying “to divide and destroy the Democratic Party,” that Gaylord had left the party “because he couldn’t control it,” and that Bellmon was “dominated” by Gaylord.

“Do you want Gaylord to be governor of this state?” he asked in a campaign speech covered by United Press International, and printed by The Daily Oklahoman.  “Do you want Gaylord to write your highway program for you?  Do you want Gaylord to do your reapportioning…look after your welfare program…eliminate your county road money…do away with your homestead exemption?”

Atkinson forgot that the press always has the last word.  Or maybe he was just now learning.  The best last word, just days before the election, was written by The Daily Oklahoman’s political columnist:

Since the newspaper and its publisher will not have their names on the ballot, Atkinson is going to swamp them in the vote getting, but there is considerable debate about how well he is going to fare against Henry Bellmon.

Atkinson has devoted more of his time to running against the paper and publisher, and less to the Republican nominee, than any other candidate for governor.

If Bill Atkinson really wants to catch the people when they are mad at the newspaper, he should drift into a town with the poll takers some morning after the sports department got the score wrong for the local winning high school team.

Henry Bellmon became the first Republican governor of the State of Oklahoma by a margin of 55 to 45 percent.

Despite his campaign’s many tactical blunders, his own seeming inability to either frame an issue clearly or defuse a problem and his general tendency to shoot himself in the foot, Atkinson blamed his proposed sales-tax increase for his defeat.  At his election-night party at the Uptown Cafeteria, W.P. flipped a penny to one of his supporters and said, in all seriousness, “This is what beat me.”


Coming Up Next:  Reunion 2005

Model City – Chapter 21

Damascus


And I started jumpin’ up and down yellin’ “kill, kill,”

and he started jumpin’ up and down with me yellin’ “kill, kill,”

and we was both jumpin’ up and down yellin’ “kill, kill.”

A sergeant came over.  Pinned a medal on me.

Said “You’re our boy.”


Arlo Guthrie, “Alice’s Restaurant.”

.

I once had a stock comment for people who claim to have “reformed:”   “I’m sorry.  The leopard doesn’t change its spots, and I don’t believe in conversion on the road to Damascus.”

Except, as it turns out, I do.

I’ve been on that road.

**

While the rest of the nation has pretty much come to terms with the fact that the Vietnam War was a disaster and a mistake from the beginning, many Oklahomans still view it as a glorious and noble venture ending in an inglorious and ignoble betrayal on the order of Munich or Pottsdam.

The fact that Vietnam today is a prosperous, consumer-driven country, courted by politicians and trade representatives from the United States and the rest of the western world means nothing in the Midwest.  The fact that reconstruction in Vietnam was shorter, more generous (OK, less punitive) and more successful than our own Reconstruction Era means nothing. The fact that few have clamored to “escape” from Vietnam for more than twenty years is immaterial.  Oklahomans don’t let themselves be sidetracked by facts.

Our brave boys were killed by the thousands by Commies in black pajamas and that’s all we need to know.

When Lt. William “Rusty” Calley was indicted for playing a leading role in the unprovoked slaughter of 500 civilian women, old men and children at My Lai, Oklahoma City’s street corners were crammed with placard-waiving citizens urging drivers to “Free Calley” or to “Honk For Calley.”

*

It was little wonder then that the state was not only willing, but eager to invest its sons in the war biz during the 1960s and ‘70s.

Within the Selective Service System’s general guidelines, individual states were somewhat free to set their own policy and to interpret those guidelines narrowly or broadly.  Oklahoma’s Draft Board was ruthless.  While other states allowed deferments for students attending graduate school, the only grad school students in Oklahoma universities in 1969 were either ROTC kids (who, for the privilege of being allowed to attend grad school,  had to then spend six years in the military instead of two) or they were 4-F.

Or they were women, who were essentially 4-F since, not having penises, they couldn’t pass the physical.

Law school?  Nope: ‘Nam.  Med school?  Nope: ‘Nam.

*

I was graduated in May and married in June, 1969.  I was actually earning a living at journalism despite Mildred’s fears, was renting a nice three-bedroom house and was madly in love with my new wife.  But I couldn’t take an easy breath.

Uncle Sam wanted me and I knew it.

So I joined.  The choice seemed easy: I could spend two years carrying a rifle or three years punching a typewriter.  Enlistees, in exchange for the extra year, were guaranteed their choice of Military Occupation Specialty (or MOS: everything in the military has initials).

The Official Notice came only a couple of weeks later. Uncle Sam wanted me badly, but he also had a sense of humor.  I was to report on my twenty-second birthday.

My enlistment papers, however, gave me another month of freedom before I had to report.  Nevertheless, my wife never forgave me for enlisting.

Exactly what it was that I should have done was never made clear.  Only that what I had done was somehow wrong.

*

So fifty or more Oklahoma City boys gathered at the Induction Center to be processed and then to sit around and wait.  The Cowboy, Ronnie, Junior and I formed a mutual-support group, all of us scared shitless of the unknown.  Toward mid-afternoon came the first of many announcements to come in the following months pointing out to us just how helpless we were.

It seemed that some Army recruiters had been too successful or some local draft boards too ambitious.  The Army’s training capacity was full for the rest of the month.  A Specialist 4 called out the names of a dozen or so draftees and herded them into a separate group.  These kids had allowed themselves to be drafted either out of stupidity or because draftees only served two years instead of three, but they were certain of one thing: the Army was the only service that drafted recruits.

Wrong.

“There’s a bus outside gonna take you boys to the airport to ship out,” the specialist called, with only a slight note of amusement in his voice.  “Welcome to the Marines.”

Oh, Jesus!  Could it get any worse?

The rest of us were eventually bused to one of the ratty regional airlines and flown to Fort Polk, Louisiana, an Army training post whose sole maintenance since the end of the Korean War had been an occasional coat of fresh paint.

At Polk, we learned to march, to salute, to do the “low crawl” (important survival skill during the trench warfare of World War I, but of dubious utility fifty years later), to YELL IN CAPITAL LETTERS, to lie and scheme our way around the drill sergeants and to hate with a passion anything green.  The drill sergeants also made a passing attempt to teach us to shoot, but the target practices were so few and ammunition evidently so valuable that I couldn’t help wondering what was really the point.

I didn’t have anything against guns.  I grew up with them, first with a BB gun, a .22, a .410 shotgun, a 12-gauge, a .30-06.  I shot rabbits, squirrels, pigeons and pheasants – not to mention the occasional water tank.  The gun part of Army basic training didn’t bother me.  I really wanted that marksmanship medal, as a point of pride.

Well, we can’t always get what we want, but the guns would eventually give me what I needed.

**

The rest of basic training did bother me, from the group punishment and deliberate sleep deprivation (both prohibited by the Geneva Convention when dealing with prisoners of war, but not prohibited practices for a country to use on its own troops), to the attempts to turn us into bloodthirsty killers, to the drill sergeants who could barely speak the English language.

Our drill sergeant, a twenty-two-year-old Alabama kid with a sixth-grade education, was a particularly choice specimen, especially when trying to teach us to march.

“Now I step off on my right…” he would drawl lazily just before noticing his left foot out in front, “…As…you…were…[long, puzzled pause]…I step off on my left foot.”  Right, I thought.  We’re involved in a war and our guys are being trained by the likes of this moron.

They said you were right when you left.

YOU’RE RIGHT!

They said you were right when you left.

YOU’RE RIGHT.  YOUR LEFT.  YOUR RIGHT.

The CO was a young hot-shot captain filling out the last of his four-year enlistment.  I suspect he secretly longed to be referred to as “the old man,” as he tried to be simultaneously as tough as possible and an understanding father figure.

During our 900-mile Death March home from “bivouac” near the end of basic training, the CO was out in front of the marching troops, showing just how tough he was.  It took our company Sergeant Major, a career NCO and the real boss of the company, to set the CO straight.

“Sir, these mens have had it.  I say they ride home.”

“Top, if I can do it, these men can do it.”

“Sir, these mens are riding home.”

We rode the rest of the way home.

*

The CO made it a point, the first week of basic, to interview each of his men individually.  My interview was one of his shortest.

“Dimick, your test scores are pretty damned impressive.  But you haven’t applied to go to OCS.”

“Yes, sir.”

“You don’t want to be an officer?”

“No, sir.”

“Why not?”

Are you shitting me, you dumb fuck?  You really have no idea why I would peel potatoes rather than have your job?

Or so I thought to myself.

“They showed us a movie about Officer’s Candidate School earlier this week, sir,” I said out loud.  “It said no matter where an officer was assigned, his first job was always to be ready to lead his men into combat.  I don’t want that kind of responsibility, sir.  I operate a typewriter.”

“You’re not going to give us trouble, here, are you, Dimick?”

Born just two years after the end of World War II and raised on war movies and war stories, I wasn’t then anti-war, only anti-Vietnam War and, in particular, anti-sending-Steve-to-the-Vietnam-War.  But at least I seemed to have learned something about discretion since standing in front of the night traffic court judge years before.

“No, sir,” I promised.  “I just want to serve my time and go home.”

“That’ll be all, Dimick.  Dismissed.”

For the most part, I kept my promise.

*

I certainly wasn’t alone in my resentment of being 1) in uniform, 2) in the Army, 3) in basic training, 4) at Fort Polk, Louisiana.  Of about 150 in our company, there were only four gung-ho guys who had seen too many John Wayne and Audie Murphy movies and who had dreams of parachuting behind enemy lines to blow up bridges, cut radio communications and Save the Western World for Democracy.

While the rest of us fell into our bunks at bedtime to read for a while or write a letter home, the gung-ho’s competed among themselves to see how many more push-ups each could do in addition to the two or three hundred we had already done that day.

I, on the other hand, found myself in the majority for the first time in my life.  While hanging around “at ease,” waiting (which is what soldiers do best) for the next silly stage in our training, someone would start the count under his breath: “One…two…three:”

“FUCK THE ARMY!” we would yell in unison.  We were a lot more enthusiastic in this call than in the ones the sergeants wanted us to learn.

Drill Sergeant:  “What is the purpose of the bayonet?”

“To kill!”

“I can’t hear you!”

“To Kill !!”

We never reached all capital letters, as we did in our own mantra.

Perhaps it was because Dimick was opening his mouth and moving his lips around, but making sure that no sound came out.

*

Graffiti reading “FTA” was everywhere.  This phrase was ubiquitous anywhere American troops were stationed, and the Army actually tried to preempt it in later years with an advertising campaign claiming the initials stood for “Fun, Travel and Adventure.”

Right.

*

Top (all sergeants major are referred to as “Top,” short for “Top Sergeant”) summoned us to the parade ground one afternoon to lecture us on the fact that the only enthusiasm we seemed to show was when shouting our own phrase.

“You mens don’t know what you sayin’,” he yelled.  “What this ‘Fuck da Army?’  Who da Army?  YOU da Army!  You mens want to fuck yourselfs?  Huh?”

“NO, TOP SERGEANT.”

“Then I don’t want to hear no more ‘Fuck da Army.’  Ya got me?”

“YES, TOP SERGEANT.”

Dismissed, we wandered off of the parade ground, most of us muttering “…and fuck you, too, Top.”

The next day, during a break, someone whispered “One, Two, Three…”


*

I was much too terrified to be disruptive until near the end of basic.  The Army must have found out by trial-and-error that you can use abject fear to keep raw recruits in line for six or seven weeks.  Eight weeks, tops.  Any longer than that and these chumps will have wised up.

On November 15, 1969, the New Mobilization Committee staged the largest anti-war rally to date in Washington, D.C.  More than 250,000 people converged on the capitol (significantly more, even, than had come to levitate the Pentagon two years earlier); similar giant rallies were held in other large cities across the country and those citizens not marching were urged to wear black armbands.

“DIMICK!”

It was the company lieutenant, a mean-eyed little fellow whom we saw but rarely, to our relief.  He’d been in as long as the Old Man (okay, I’ll cut the captain some slack and give him the nickname he wanted so badly – compared to his second-in-charge, he deserved it), but couldn’t make O-3 grade.  In a just world, he couldn’t have shined Top’s shoes and he knew it.  Even the Spec. 3′s and Spec. 4′s who kept the company moving had little use for him.

We were on some sort of mini-bivouac, way out in the boonies, learning to crawl underneath barbed wire and underneath the machine-gun rounds whizzing about two feet above the ground.  Very valuable skills fifty years earlier, but maybe just a little obsolete for Korea, the Dominican Republic or Vietnam?

“Sir?” I answered, snapping to attention in front of him.

“You gonna be wearing a black armband today?” he demanded.  Obviously, the captain had told him what a dangerous element I was.

“Ahhhh…no?”

I had no idea what he was talking about.  We weren’t allowed newspapers.  Had the moon landing, the end of the war and the resignation of the president all been squeezed into that week, we wouldn’t have known it.

“You joining those long-haired hippies in their anti-war protests, are you?” he pressed.

“No, sir,” and if I’d had a forelock, I’d have tugged it in subservience.  “I don’t know anything about it.  Right now I’m sort of…doing pushups?”

“Well, get over there and do some more.  And don’t stop until I tell you.”

And so I did.  And did some more.  And then some more.

*

Fragging, I thought.

A word invented during the Vietnam War.  Such a lovely lilt to it.  Fragging.  It has the well-deserved “f” sound at front, the harsh, gutteral “g” in the middle and the gerundive ending, hinting at time passing.

Fragging means casually tossing a fragmentation grenade into the tent of an unpopular officer or NCO while the bastard is sleeping.  The attack is blamed on the Viet Cong and nobody in the company disputes the official report.  Damned shame.  Captain Kurtz, he dead.

How the boy got back from Vietnam alive is more than I can fathom.  But he obviously wasn’t in a combat unit, else no one would have contradicted the story of a Viet Cong getting close enough to his tent to toss in a grenade.  I fragged him in my imagination and I picture him today selling appliances at Sears or Wal-Mart and wondering why he is still salaried, and not management.  Delightful.

*

We didn’t know this until the very end.  They don’t want to give trainees any sense of hope.  Hope brings questions, and we can’t have that.  But the secret to staying healthy and safe and sane lies in seven words: “I want to see the I.G.”

The sergeants and the officers try to beat you into submission with such phrases as “court martial” and “Article 15.”  But the I.G. trumps them every time – if the grunts only knew about it.

My military recruiter had promised me that I would be finished with basic training before Christmas, because the next class beginning at Defense Information School (DINFOS) in Indianapolis was due to start shortly after the New Year.  But our training company had started more than a week late because of a scheduling snafu.  (Or, rather, SNAFU.  It’s an acronym.)

But basic training wasn’t finished and wouldn’t be for another week.  We had hung around Fort Polk for more than a week in October before being assigned to a training company, which put us a week behind in finishing training.

Problem was, my class at Defense Information School was supposed to start before my basic training ended, and there was no room in the next class, which wouldn’t, at any rate, start for another eight weeks yet.

But, not too conveniently, the Inspector General himself appeared at Fort Polk, Louisiana.  Deus ex machina. I doubt that it was really the IG, but more likely, one of his helpers, like a department store Santa Claus.  No matter.  The NCOs were properly cowed.  They were required to ask if anyone wanted to speak to the IG.

“Oh, God, Dimick, not you!”

“Well, sergeant,” I was finally able to say calmly, having reached the stage of seven-week-old, wised-up chump, “I have this enlistment contract which says I have to be in Indianapolis in three days.  If I don’t make it, I can’t get in the class.  And if I don’t get in the class, they’re going to have to turn me loose.  So, yes, I’d like to talk to the IG.”

“Dimick, it’s okay.  We’ll make sure you get there.  You don’t need to talk to the IG.  You don’t want to talk to the IG.  We’ll make it right.”

I was stupid to believe them, but they did make it right.  The next day, when the rest of my platoon was practicing for their big graduation parade, I was on a plane to Indianapolis, which was experiencing its coldest and wettest winter in seventeen years.

*

About nine months later, I was editing the post newspaper at the now-decommissioned Oakland Army Base when the orders came.  I was going to Vietnam.

**

Defense Information School at Fort Benjamin Harrison, Indiana, was a unique military training facility in that it was not run by any of the four branches of the armed forces, but by the Department of Defense.  Its faculty and its students consisted of equal parts Army, Navy, Air Force and Marine Corps personnel.

It was also a plum assignment.  More like a real school than most advanced military training programs, its student slots and faculty slots eagerly sought and hard to nab.  It graduated print types who would later staff military newspapers on every U.S. base in the world, and broadcast types who would work for the Armed Forces Radio and Television Service.  The top graduate in each class received a gold watch and his choice of locations for his next assignment.

If I had it to do over again, I’d have asked for France, but I didn’t know any better at the time.  I asked for San Francisco and got Oakland.  That’s like asking for Manhattan and getting Hoboken.

What they didn’t tell us at DINFOS was that, while they may have promised the top graduate the closest available slot to his requested posting, there was no guarantee as to how long it would last.

*

I reported to Oakland in April.  In September, my transfer orders arrived.

September.  My birth month.  The same month I had been ordered to report for the draft.  Uncle hadn’t lost his sense of humor.

After the panic and the tears and the anger subsided came the determination.  First, since I had always wanted to write, at least I could gather a lot of color and maybe turn it into a book or two.  Second, if the bastards were going to send me to some godforsaken jungle on the other side of the world, there was going to be something in it for me.  I’d keep my eyes and ears open.  There were opportunities in black market currency (or so I had read) and who knew what else.

Had this happened to either of my parents, they would have had an easy explanation.  Dwain would have said, “I could have been an officer and gone off to Washington.  Because I wouldn’t, they made an example out of me and sent me to war.”  Mildred would have said “They never liked me, anyway.”

Evidently, a lot of desk jockeys from the San Francisco Bay Area were scheduled to go to Vietnam at the same time.  Twenty or thirty of us were sent for three days to Fort Cronkite, a largely abandoned Army post on the Marin County headlands for “RVN [Republic of Vietnam] training.”

*

Marin County is a peninsula which forms the northern portion of the Golden Gate, the narrow, labial opening into San Francisco Bay.  The headlands command spectacular views of the Bay and the Pacific Ocean.  Much of the headlands were owned, but hardly used, by the Army.  The Pacific-facing portions are dotted with concrete pillboxes, or gun entrenchments, left over from the coastal defense during World War II.  Hikers can still clamber into the pillboxes and imagine what it must have been like squatting in the bunkers and waiting for the Japanese navy to appear on the horizon.

*

It generally doesn’t rain in the Bay Area between April and October.  The hillsides are lush green during the winter rainy season and dry and brown during the summer.  The Marin headlands were thus a perfectly logical location for a bunch of grown men to be playing Army, shooting blanks at each other through the knee-high dead October grass.

Blank cartridges are dangerous as hell.

“Uh, Sergeant?  We got another grass fire over here,” the mortician called.  It would have been caused either by the hot shell casings ejected from our rifles or from the fire blazing out of their muzzles.

“Well, stomp it out.”

“What?”

“I said STOMP IT OUT!”

“You want me to stomp it out?”

“Goddamn it!  Put the fuckin’ fire out!”

“You sure?”

“Jesus Christ!  Dimick, go help that dumbass put out that fire.”

“You want me to go help put out that fire?”

“What the hell is the matter with you men?  You gonna pull this shit in the ‘Nam?  Gitcher ass shot off.  Now, Go…Put…Out…The…Fucking…FIRE!!”

I strolled down the hill to help the mortician, who was half-heartedly tapping around the edges of the widening circle of fire with his combat boots.

“Uh…Sergeant?  It’s a little too big.  You might want to call for the trucks again?”

Which, of course, was the point all along.

Our training was suspended three times while we waited for the tanker trucks to come put out the grass fires.

The mortician and I (and why they needed morticians in Vietnam wholly escaped me, since the bodies were all brought back to Oakland Army Base for processing) used these breaks to good advantage.  We had to get up damned early on the Oakland side of the bay to get to Marin County by 7 a.m.  We lay down on our backs in the warm sun, used our helmets as pillows and napped.

Neither of us understood why non-combatant troops needed to know this shit, but both of us had learned that the Army is not a for-profit corporation, but an evolutionary dead end.  All Army policies and regulations are outmoded by at least a generation.  It’s an axiom that the generals always fight the last war.  The officer who promotes modern management techniques is himself not promoted, but shunned.  The GI who questions the logic of an Army policy is invited to shut up.  “Your shit sure is flaky, Dimick!”

So the smart enlisted man finds ways to use the Army’s inflexibility to his own advantage, a talent which I picked up in basic training, which freed me from having to go through the tear gas chamber and which landed me many a typewriter job while my barracks mates were mowing lawns and scrubbing pots.

*

RVN training wasn’t so bad, really, as long as you recognized the black humor in it and didn’t take it too seriously.  But the last exercise, at the end of the third day, forced me to take it seriously.

We had been firing M-1′s, rifles left over from World War II and the Korean War, just as we had during basic training.  M-16′s, the rifles issued to actual combat troops, were evidently too expensive and too dangerous to give to mere trainees.

But if we were going to Vietnam, we had to become familiar with the M-16.

And we had to learn to shoot people.

The M-16 is a light-weight (less than nine pounds) rifle firing 5.56 mm (.223 caliber) bullets, capable of operating in semi-automatic or fully automatic mode, firing bursts of up to 90 rounds per minute.  While not as popular, reliable, flexible or deadly as the Russian-developed AK-47, it is a nasty weapon, nevertheless.  With an M-16, all you have to do is point the barrel in the general direction of the person you’re trying to kill and then hold the trigger.  You’re sure to kill something.

Back in basic training, we had shot at bull’s-eye targets, the same as I had with my BB gun and .22 single-shot as a teenager.

In RVN training, however, human-shaped targets popped up suddenly from the tall grass.

I forced myself to try it once and then forced myself not to vomit.  I could hardly hear or see for the rushing in my ears and the film on my eyes.  I dropped the rifle, heard my name shouted in anger, picked it up again and loosed the rest of my live shells well over the heads of the paper people.

I don’t remember going home.

“I can’t do this,” were my first words to Cherylle.  “What am I going to do?”

I had just had my conversion on the road to Damascus.  The next day, I sought out the CCCO, the Central Committee for Conscientious Objectors, in downtown Oakland.

Three months later, I was out of the Army.  Three months after that, I was back in Oklahoma.

Coming Next:  The Godfather of the Model City

Plot, Structure and Movie Reviews

Three capsule reviews and a lecture

I make it a firm rule to try to see at least two movies in a theater every calendar year.  That is, of course, only a goal and I don’t always make it.  My living room, with an HD plasma TV, Blu-Ray player and pretty nifty sound system generally suits me just fine.

(If for no other reason, I don’t miss a few minutes of the movie if I have to visit the facilities.)

The last three movies I have watched – two at home and one in a theater – led me to think about plots, because it was pretty obvious where each movie was going after watching only a small part of it.

The movies were “District 9,” “Avatar” and “The Invention of Lying.”

*

Many people have attempted to categorize the number of possible plots in fiction.  These categories – depending on who is doing the counting – range from three to seven to 20 to 36.

And that’s not counting Faulkner’s definition of fiction as “the problems of the human heart in conflict with itself which alone can make good writing because only that is worth writing about.”

Very true, but that’s a reason for telling the story, and Faulkner didn’t mean it as a plot summary.

Personally, I tend to like the “seven plots” school of thought:

1. Tragedy. Hero with a fatal flaw meets tragic end. “Macbeth” or “Madame Bovary.”

2. Comedy. Not necessary laugh-out-loud, but always with a happy ending, typically of romantic fulfilment, as in Jane Austen.  Not always, but usually, the guy and gal start off at odds with each other and only gradually come to realize the blah-blah-blah.  Classic example: “It Happened One Night.”

3. Overcoming the Monster. “Frankenstein,” “Jaws,” “Alien,” “Silence of the Lambs.”

4. Voyage and Return. The archetypal structure of personal development through leaving, then returning home.  “The Odyssey,” “Alice in Wonderland,” “The Time Machine,” “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner.”

5. Quest. A holy grail, a whale, or a kidnapped child.  “Lord of the Rings,” “The Road,”  Moby Dick. (“Moby Dick” could also fit under “Tragedy.”)

6. Rags to Riches. The riches can be literal or metaphoric. “Cinderella,” “David Copperfield,” “Pygmalion.”

7. Rebirth. The central character finds a new reason for living.  To my mind, the most fulfilling of all plots and the closest to Faulkner’s observation that “only that is worth writing about.”  “A Christmas Carol,” “It’s a Wonderful Life,” “Crime and Punishment,” “Peer Gynt.”

*

Once you have these plots down, it’s not a difficult task to figure out where a given movie may be going.

Case in point: “The Invention of Lying.”

A really neat conceit that ends as a miserable failure because the director couldn’t figure out what he wanted to do with the plot.  The plot, of course, is a romantic comedy in which boy meets girl, through confusion boy loses girl and then boy finally gets girl in the last scene.

But that’s only the plot.  You saw that coming within ten minutes, didn’t you?  The elements of the plot, however, don’t hang together.  Is being unable to tell a lie the same as being an idiot?  Seems so.  The only alleged difference between that world and our own is that in that world everybody tells the truth about everything.   But the female’s only reason for rejecting our hero is that she doesn’t approve of his genetic material, which has little to do with truth or lying.  (Not to mention that she’s a freaking twit and we never get a clue as to why Ricky Gervais wants to marry her, let alone bang her.)  And everybody else in that alternative universe is equally clueless.

Hey, Mr. Director: Do you want to make a movie about a world in which people can’t lie or do you want to make a movie about a world in which people are all twits?  Either one might be funny, but you’re linking the two.  Doesn’t work after the first 20 minutes or so.

*

Case in point: “District 9.”

I should have known where it was going after the first ten minutes, but I’m a little slow sometimes.  It wasn’t until the hero grew a claw that I figured out the rest of the plot.

The plot elements don’t hold together at all.  How did the captive “prawns” get hold of their species-specific weaponry?  If the prawn hero could manage to make their space ship fly, why were the aliens stranded hovering over Johannesburg for months in the movie’s backstory?  And on and on.  Best not to think about it.  But it was a great, and disturbing commentary on race relations and the darkness of the human heart.

This one and “Avatar” fall into a sub-genre of “Rebirth:” The hero is introduced to an alien culture and adopts it as better than his own.  See also “Little Big Man,” “Dances With Wolves” and “A Man Called Horse,” among others.

*

Case in point: “Avatar.”

It’s difficult to separate the cinematography from the special effects, but either way, they’re luscious.

Ten minutes into it, you know that Jake Sully will have a rebirth.  Otherwise, what’s the point?  It’s how he gets there that makes for a rollicking good ride.  The central conceit is consistent (unlike “Lying”) and we root for the non-white tribe because the white guys are what we know humans are capable of being.

The 3-D version isn’t necessary.  It just makes the viewing experience more immediate.

Subplot: “Heart of Darkness” slash “Apocalypse Now.”

Talkin’ Computer Blues

(To the tune of “Smoke, Smoke, Smoke That Cigarette”)

Like the feller in the Merle Travis/Tex Williams song about cigarettes, if I ever met the guy that invented the computer, “I’d murder that son-of-a-gun in the first degree.”

Now it ain’t ‘cause I don’t use one myself

And my carpel tunnel is still in good health,

But that devil machine has me flyin’ into a rage.

‘Cause electronic addicts are all the same

At a romantic dinner or a football game

Everything’s gotta stop while they check their Facebook page.


I still remember my excitement when I bought my first computer for my office, all set now to join the electronic age in which documents would be produced with lightening speed and paper would soon become obsolete.  I was almost as excited when I bought the second one.  Now, not only would my secretary have a computer but I would, too.

I was slightly less excited when I bought the first computer for home, but it was still a pretty big deal, sitting there in the dining room for the whole family’s use.  And then came another home computer all my very own and then another for my daughter.  Eventually, I just had to have a color monitor and then my wife had to have a color monitor, and then my daughter, and then it was the second telephone line to connect to the internet and then the DSL line and then the wireless home network and then I had to have a laptop and then my wife had to have her own laptop and then…

*

Was it just overnight when the business world went from the question, “Do you have a fax number?” to “What is your fax number?” to “Will you scan that and e-mail it to me?”  Or does it only seem that way?

Was it really just last week when “car phones” were practically the size of an attache case?  When the salesperson called me at work to try to sell me one and I said, “Lady, I sometimes go get into my car just to get away from the telephone”?

And last week everybody in the family had to have a pager and six days ago there was our “family” cell phone, which became my wife’s cell phone, and then I had to have one of my own and then so did my daughter, and five days ago all the antique analog phones had to be replaced by digital ones, and four days ago the cell phone merged with the PDA so we no longer had to carry two devices (but everybody had to get a new phone), and three days ago the phones were obsolete again because they couldn’t take pictures, and two days ago they all had to be replaced because the old ones couldn’t surf the web and check e-mail and yesterday they were all replaced yet again because they couldn’t hold the entire ASCAP and BMI music catalogs in their memory and today I’m afraid to read the morning paper for fear technological advances since I went to bed will cost me yet another thousand dollars.

*

Now, I’m no Luddite.  I used to be quite a forward-looking kind of guy.  More than thirty years ago, when I was still in law school and some years away from my first computer, I predicted the digitalization of law libraries, with 0′s and 1′s replacing miles of sagging bookshelves lined with code books and appellate court reports.  And I was right: today, legal research is blazingly fast compared to that quaint era.

And when hand-held scanners with optical character resolution (OCR) software first appeared, I bought an early one, convinced it would eliminate hours of secretarial typing – only to discover that a good secretary could type a document in half the time it took for a scanner to scan it and the software to turn it into words.  But I was right: today, scanners and their software are also blazingly fast, leaving the secretaries with much less typing to do and more time to spend surfing the web, fiddling with their MySpace page and e-mailing their friends.

In fact, it seems that everything is blazingly fast today except me.  Life and business spin around so rapidly that I’m afraid I’ll be injured if I try to hop off, even if only to catch my breath for a moment.  It’s not that I’m no longer forward-looking; it’s just that I’m so dizzy I don’t know which way to look.

*

There was a time when a letter or contract had to be roughed out, typed, edited and polished, retyped, polished again and typed once again, leaving time for a bit of reflection in between drafts.  “I’ll get that in the mail to you as soon as I can,” I might say.  “You should have it within a week.”  Today, as often as not, I get the question, “And can I have that this afternoon?”

Time was when I might drop a note to a friend, maybe handwritten or maybe typed.  Either way, I would generally read it over when I was finished and then had to fold the paper, find and address an envelope, lick a stamp and put the letter out for the postman.  There was plenty of time for reflection and the messages were seldom flaming or ranting.

Today I punch that “send” button smugly and only later stop to think that calling my best friend an “idiot” or ranting extensively about his religious or political preferences was probably not a great idea.

Time was when I could take out-of-town guests for a drive along California’s beautiful Big Sur coastline and they would be awestruck by the view.  Today they spend the trip texting their friends back home.

Time was when I could go into San Francisco to meet my daughter for a leisurely lunch at a nice restaurant and both of us could enjoy being away from our respective offices for a while.  Today she brings the office with her, popping outdoors every five minutes to take yet another phone call or receiving and replying to yet another text message between every bite of salad.

I can no longer get into a good barroom discussion over the English word with the longest string of consecutive consonants or who fixed the 1919 World Series without somebody whipping out his Blackberry and calling up Google or Wikipedia.  I can’t go to a nightclub without seeing half the fools there snapping pictures on their cell phones and shooting them off to their friends to prove they were really in the same room with a famous jazz singer.  I can’t even check my own e-mail without finding a dozen messages saying somebody has just “tagged” me or “poked” me on Facebook or has just taken yet another idiot quiz asking them what kind of vegetable they think they should be.

I’d murder that son-of-a-gun, I swear I would.  And if I really drew a jury of my peers, I’d never be convicted.

Now the other night my wife and I

Were havin’ a little wine and feelin’ a little high.

The dishes were done and I’d put on an Ella CD.

The candles were lit and the lights were low

And we started dancin’ close and slow;

It was one of those nights just made for her and me.

Now the wife was hot and I was hotter –

She was wearin’ that low-cut top I’d bought her –

And my favorite perfume in just the right amount.

I said “Let’s pretend it’s our honeymoon.”

She said “Steve, get ready; I’ll be there soon,

But first I just gotta check my Facebook mail account.”

.

Search, search, search those Google hits.

Click, click, click and when it’s time to call it quits

Tell St. Peter when you go upstairs

You can’t leave this world’s affairs

You just gotta have your dose of bytes and bits.

*

_____________________________________________________________________

If you’d like to hear Tex Williams’ original version, you can find it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbKQklwNScA

_____________________________________________________________________

The Steply Ugfather — Part 4

Final Chapter: The Television

I hesitated before posting this, but it no longer seems to matter.

Daddy Dearest did help her to buy a house this year, although not quite in the way her mother remembers it.

“Her father gave her $25,000 toward the purchase,” her mom said to a friend, puzzling me – at first – by supporting her ex-husband and comparing his contribution favorably to the “mere” $10,000 we had promised and neglecting to mention that, just a few days before, she had first brought up the subject that led to the Great Schism and that we were of one accord on the issue of the television.

“Well…it wasn’t quite as open-and-shut as that,” I had to explain.  “She was trying to fix her credit rating and needed to show a bank account with some cash in it.  So her father opened up a joint account for the two of them with $25,000.

“Then the loan broker told her the account needed to be in her name alone, so she asked her father if they could take his name off of the account.

“Then the broker told her she needed to pay off her husband’s medical bills, so she asked her dad if she could use some of the money for that purpose.

“After that, the broker said she needed to pay off her credit cards, so she asked if she could use the rest of the money for that.

“Although I may not have the story in the right order.

“But your ex-husband wasn’t as generous as all that.  He just got sucked in, a bit at a time.”

So, yeah, DD put more towards her house than I did.  I didn’t feel too bad about it since he’d paid maybe a dollar-ninety-eight towards her high-school and college educations, and contributed only moderately towards her wedding.

*

Then she wanted the $10,000 from us, which had to be deposited into escrow along with a note saying it was a gift, with no expectation of repayment.

At the same time, Marianne’s mother wanted to move back to the Bay Area from Oregon, where she had gone to retire three years earlier.  Marianne, her brother and the kid planned to drive to Oregon, load up a U-Haul truck and drive grandma back down.  But Oregon, temptingly, has no sales tax, so the kid announced that on the way back down she intended to buy a large-screen plasma television.

Marianne had warned me and we had had extensive conversations about it, but this was the first time I had heard it directly from her daughter.

Excuse me?? You asked me to give you $10,000 to help buy a house and you’re going to spend a fourth of that on a television??”

But the kid to whom I had taught fractions just didn’t get it.  “You can’t tell me how to spend my money!  You can’t judge me!  You’re acting just like my in-laws.  I’ll spend my money however I choose,” she started screaming, all instant hysteria and tears.

“Now just wait a minute, here. If you have money to buy fancy toys, maybe you should be spending it on buying a house instead, rather than asking me for a hand-out.”

“Your money is going straight to escrow!  I won’t be using your money.  I’ll be using my own money.

I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. If you don’t want to give me the money, then don’t!  But I’m not using your money to buy a television.”

“Uh…you know, there was an executive from Wells Fargo Bank testifying before Congress just this week.  He was trying to justify huge bonuses to senior management after receiving billions in taxpayer bail-out money.  The committeemember cautioned him, ‘Don’t you tell me “Oh, we’re not using that money for the bonuses.” ‘ ”

When she kept screaming I became caustic.  I shouldn’t have.  But this is the girl who once, when family money was tight, offered to dance for Mom and I and we would pay her.  I explained that that would be like taking money out of one pocket, putting it into another pocket and feeling you’ve made a profit.  She has used that analogy many times since then, but just couldn’t seem to grasp it at the moment.

Eventually, she stomped out of the house and went running to the arms of Daddy Dearest, where Marianne found her an hour later after searching all over.

*

garage

Guerneville garage

And then the e-mails began, each one worse than the last.  And I started thinking about the past

You have always made it clear that I did not met (sic) your expectations.

…and how, at the end of a weekend which started with her ramming the car into a stranger’s garage in Guerneville, I tossed her the keys and told her she could drive home…

…and how, after she hosted a drunken party when we were out of town, and when her mother didn’t want to leave her home alone the next time, I said I trusted her word that she wouldn’t do it again (only to be proven wrong)…

I took Spanish instead of French, a far more superior language in your book (however not as prevalent here in the US ).

…and how I studied Spanish in college and still speak it better than my high-school French…

…and how I read every book assigned to her in high-school English class so we could discuss them and I could help her understand…

I played soccer, instead of chess or debate.

…and how I don’t play chess at all, but spilled everything out of my pockets from jumping up and down the first time she scored a soccer goal and how I never missed a game, even though she did…

I went to the “party” UC and not a real one, like Berkley (sic).

…and how, when she decided on a business degree but was still searching for the right university, I suggested she consider Sonoma State.  “It has an excellent business school, while UC Santa Cruz doesn’t even offer a degree in business.”  “But, Steve, you’ve always told me I should go to the best school I can get into.”  “Okay, I guess you’ve got me there.”

I played at a silly rental car company instead of going to law school or getting an MBA.

…and how proud I felt when she decided to major in Legal studies…

…and how I suggested that she consider getting an MBA and offered to pay for it…

I have spent a majority of life defending you to other people (although I know you don’t believe that)…

…and how the word frequently got back to me about the tales she told about me to entertain her friends…

just to turn around and be insulted by you repeatedly.

…and the number of times I argued with teachers and administrators on her behalf from elementary school through high school…

…and how she turned to me when she and her mother got into a bitter fight over the wedding planning – although I did support my wife, which led to us receiving a note saying that we were no longer a part of her life…

It is exhausting, degrading and it is not how I choose to live my life.

…and about taking a week off work to stay home with her when she had the chicken pox, and staying up long after her mother went to bed so I could give her the last insulin shot of the day or make sure she got home safely from a date…

…and about teaching her to drive because her mother didn’t have the patience and Daddy Dearest couldn’t be inconvenienced…

I have held all of this inside for very long and I know how harsh it sounds, but can’t keep it inside anymore.

…and how Daddy Dearest kept drumming into her head that she was “unhappy …unhappy …unhappy” at home…

…and how I never knew or accepted that it was a contest, which is probably why DD “won”…

…and how sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is…

…and how…

And how.

Swimming With the Dolphins

February 24, 2010, CNN — A killer whale killed a trainer Wednesday afternoon at SeaWorld’s Shamu Stadium in Orlando, Florida, a public information officer for the Orange County Sheriff’s Office said.

The 40-year-old woman, identified by sheriff’s spokesman Jim Solomons as Dawn Brancheau, was in the whale holding area about 2 p.m. when “she apparently slipped or fell into the tank and was fatally injured by one of the whales,” he said.

But a witness told CNN affiliate WKMG-TV that the whale approached the glass side of the 35-foot-deep tank at Shamu Stadium, jumped up and grabbed the trainer by the waist, shaking her so violently that her shoe came off.


Kristi and her then-fiancé, Mark, went to Playa del Carmen, Mexico, a few years ago.  The resort, just a few miles south of Cancun, turned out to be much too “touristy” for my taste, but that’s what they like.

dolphin

Notice the smile on the dolphins' faces

When they came home, she raved repeatedly about the wonderful adventure of “swimming with the dolphins.”  So naturally her mother, a wildlife enthusiast, wanted to try it and I must admit I was also slightly tempted, although having spent a number of years in and around zoos, I knew I would never do it.

Four or five years later, Marianne and I also ventured to Playa del Carmen, where the beach bar closest to our hotel had the best ceviche I’ve had in all of Mexico and Marianne felt the same way about its fish tacos.  Other than that (and the occasional American tourista sunbathing topless, of which I dutifully took photos), you had to rent a car to later claim you had actually left the United States.

If you rent a car (or take a bus, which is nowhere near as handy), you can visit the Mayan ruins at Chichén Itzá or Tulum.  The former, in particular, is an astounding sight and worth the trip all by itself.

But then there is the primo attraction for Mexicans and touristas alike: the animal-slash-water park called Xcaret.  Here you can spend an entire day watching folkloric performances and displays, looking at caged animals, swimming, snorkeling and – if you’re lucky – swimming with the dolphins. 

So we went to the performing dolphin show so Marianne could swim with the dolphins and have her picture taken, just like Kristi.  But one of the dolphins was refusing to perform.

“It’s O.K., folks,” soothed the announcer on the P.A. system in the best of idiomatic English.  “She’s not very happy because she’s separated from the baby she had just last month.  Now, could we have a few volunteers who would like to swim. with. the. dolphins??

“That’s it.  I’m out of here,” I said, getting up from the bleachers in disgust.

“No, I need to see this,” Marianne replied stonily, so we sat and watched as happy, innocent dolphins – save one – frolicked with happy, innocent tourists from both north and south of the border.  Mama dolphin, meanwhile, inexplicably sulked.

Marianne had not stepped forward with the rushing crowd when the call for volunteers came.  And when the show was over, she admitted, “You were right.  I don’t want to swim with the dolphins.”

(CNN)  Fred Felleman, a marine consultant in Seattle, Washington, said keeping the social animals in what amounts to isolation is bound to cause problems.

“The fact is we don’t have the facilities to adequately accommodate not only the physical needs, the psychological and social needs of these animals,” he told CNN affiliate KIRO-TV.

“We respect lions and wolves and wild dogs as fantastic things, but we don’t go run into the Serengeti and try to jump on their back.”

Model City — Chapter 20

The King of Oklahoma City

Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world

Like a Colossus

Julius Cæsar. Act 1. Sc. 2.

Edward King Gaylord scouted out Oklahoma City in 1902 and returned for good in 1903 – four years before statehood and a bare two years after the death of Queen Victoria.  He carried with him three things much more important than his luggage: a bankroll, Victorian sensibilities and a desire to own his own newspaper.  He would spend the next 71 years as social, moral and political arbiter of Oklahoma City (almost as many years as his spiritual mentor had ruled England).

Gaylord had been business manager of his brother’s paper, the St. Joseph (Missouri) Dispatch, but chaffed under his brother’s leadership.  A chance comment by a colleague led him to Oklahoma City, one of the last frontiers in America, and where a man of substance, pluck and ambition might start a successful newspaper.

Established almost a decade before, The Daily Oklahoman had gone through a series of owner-publishers and was a struggling paper relying on social columns and wire services for most of its content.  Gaylord and two partners bought a 45-percent interest.  The other daily newspaper in town at the time, the Times-Journal (along with every other general-interest paper to be founded in Oklahoma City during the next century), Gaylord would eventually manage to ruin and then to absorb.

In 1907, for instance, a pair of free newspapers were established, the morning Pointer and the afternoon Examiner.  “Throwaways” or “shoppers,” we call them nowadays – papers that depend solely on advertising revenue (in turn based on circulation) although being more than a bit light on the news side.

As the new papers drained revenue from The Daily Oklahoman, Gaylord decided to offer free classified advertising and even started his own throwaway evening paper.  Within four years, the Pointer and the Examiner folded.

The Oklahoma City Times (successor to the Times-Journal) was bought out by Gaylord in 1916.

The Oklahoma City News, a Scripps-Howard paper, began publication in 1906 and folded in 1939.  Shedding crocodile tears, Gaylord wrote in an editorial that

With the Oklahoma News gone, we feel an emptiness as real as if a human being with whom we had labored for many years had died an untimely death…The Daily Oklahoman and the Oklahoma City Times will try harder than ever to print the best newspapers circulated in any community of 250,000 in the United States.  They will provide a forum for all shades of opinion.  They will try to print all of the news and both sides of every story.

Many considered it an empty promise.

Other newspapers would come and go over the next decades, the most recent serious challenger being The Oklahoma Journal, founded in 1963 by W.P. “Bill” Atkinson as an alternative to The Oklahoman’s strident, ultra-right politics and blue-nosed moralizing.  Atkinson’s paper, by then owned by a California company, folded in 1980.

Along the way, E.K. – always the business manager – discovered that not only does advertising revenue drive newspapers, but advertising could also be used as a bludgeon to crush competitors or enemies.  He would use the power of advertising in his papers (such as running free classifieds to crush the Pointer and the Examiner) or the withholding of the same (including refusing to sell ads to merchants who also bought ads in opposing papers) with ruthless efficiency and to great effect.

Just as he forced all other daily newspapers out of town (he never bothered much with the weeklies serving a niche market), Gaylord forced a buyout of the remaining 55-percent interest in The Oklahoman in 1918, making him the majority stockholder in the paper and the sole voice of Central Oklahoma.

*

E.K. established the tone for his newspaper early on: Christian prayers were printed on the front page and Christian sermons on the editorial page.  As late as the 1970′s, his front page featured a column labeled “Sooner Stanzas” – sappy 19th Century-style poems written by his staff poet laureate.

The paper crusaded against liquor, gambling and prostitution, both before and after statehood, although these campaigns were tempered for a while early on following a visit by a delegation of the town’s most influential businessmen.  (This temporary retreat led to an amicable falling-out between Gaylord and one of his two investors, resulting in E.K. buying out Roy McClintock’s fifteen-percent interest.)

A staunch foe of organized labor, Gaylord inveighed for decades against “labor racketeers,” once even going so far as to declare that “most union members are under the thumb of union bosses.”  His glory days were during the 1940′s and 1950′s, when no civil liberties were too dear to sacrifice for the war effort and Communists were to be found skulking behind every tree.  When a bizarre series of bombings accompanied an effort to unionize the state’s barbers (I certainly didn’t understand it at the time; barbers have never been my image of “racketeers” or bombers) The Oklahoman had a field day.  When the railroads were still thriving, but trying to break the back of the unions, “featherbedding” was the word of the day and E.K. used it often in huge, bold headlines.

*

Nor was Gaylord any too fond of Indians or Negroes, but he loved protectionism and isolationism.  A selection of headlines and bon mots from the early years:

September 25, 1907

INDIAN DRINKS, GAMBLES, FOR-

GES CHECKS, AND IS NOW

IN JAIL

May 7, 1907:

DARKTOWN POKER

PARTY DISTURBED

October 14, 1910:

FRUITS OF FALSITY SHOWN;

FALSITY STILL SURVIVE

The pages of the Guthrie State Capital [newspaper] during the campaign …constitute a political criminal record, devoid of a single virtue of a decent fight and rotten to the core with putrid, contemptible falsehoods that reek in their own puddle of filth and send out a sickening stench that stagnates to this day in the nostrils of some…

November 7, 1910:

Jack Johnson, negro pugilist, was hit on the head by a thrown brick in Chicago, but not much hurt.  Just think!  it might have struck his shin.

November 7, 1910:

…”Millions for defense, but not one cent for tribute,” was an expression when there was more patriotism than commercialism in this nation.  The sentiment today seems to be, “Millions for foreign loans, but not one cent for western investments.”

…Possibly a central bank might serve to expedite those $50,000,000 loans to build Chinese railroads, while business at home might be carried on by the employment of asset currency or wampum.

*

E.K. was terrified that his own employees might want to organize and might want to be paid a living wage.  When the Oklahoma City Press Club, which had been active in the ‘teens, finally folded, he spent decades fending off every effort to revive it, fearing that, if they had a warm place to congregate, newspaper reporters might try to organize.  A new press club was eventually established, but it was dominated by advertising salesmen and public relations types and had few actual members from the working press.

In Gaylord terminology, there was no such organization as a “labor union,” except as a part of the phrase “labor union goons.”  Union representatives were always described as “labor racketeers.”  According to E.K., these racketeers were only out to collect monthly dues and line their own pockets, at the expense of the poor working man.  In the forties, he claimed they were all but in the payroll of the Nazis.

Labor Racketeers Enemies of America


*


Government a Partner With Racketeers


*


Rick [Capt. Eddie Rickenbacker] Blasts

Out at Labor

Racketeers


*


No Goon Squad Wanted Here

THE GOOD PEOPLE OF OKLAHOMA CITY may as well recognize the fact that there is danger in the air.  If the labor racketeers get an inch they will take a mile.  The ultimate aim of such racketeers is to put every city in the United States under their thumbs and rule every industrial plant by brute force – by terror and intimidation….

*

Congress Can Stop This Racket

The racketeer who collects $16 from a common laborer is taking the bread out of the mouths of workers’ families….

*

Pastor Says President Is

Mouthpiece of Racketeers

*

Labor or Extortion, Which?

*

Tax Exemptions for Racketeers

*

Labor is Warned

Of Racketeers

*

And in what must have been one of his proudest achievements, E.K. ran a weekly anti-labor editorial in the spring of 1942 under the standing headline Idle Machines Work for Hitler:

Admittedly there are those who have exploited labor in the past, who are exploiting labor today, and who will continue to exploit labor until the universal acceptance of the Golden Rule shall purge selfishness from the hearts of men.

But no exploitation in our annals has ever surpassed in amplitude or obliquity the hijacking of hundreds of thousands of American workers by the high toll takers of labor’s exploiters.  No harder fight has ever been waged than the fight of the press to relieve citizens from the shameful necessity of paying racketeers for the privilege of working for their country….

Dwain, my father, a Santa Fe Railroad engineer, proudly paid his union dues every month without coercion by “goon squads” or “racketeers,” and was quick to acknowledge that his life was better off because of the sacrifices of the workers before him.  But Gaylord’s constant harping finally had its desired effect on the majority of the state’s citizens, and since 2001, the state’s constitution prohibits union-only, or “closed” shops.

*

In the fall of 1967, Gaylord briefly interrupted his campaign du jour (convincing Oklahomans that Vietnam War protestors were all dupes of the International Communist Conspiracy1) to engage in a successful, full-frontal attack on the free-speech policies of the University of Oklahoma.

A junior at OU that year and a journalism major, out of curiosity I accompanied a friend of mine to the Student Union one evening to hear a speech by Paul Boutelle, someone I had never heard of.  The friend was a half-hearted member of the radical Students for a Democratic Society (SDS).  Paul Boutelle was the vice-presidential candidate for the Socialist Workers’ Party.

I went to the speech expecting the usual tired radical rhetoric and came away deeply moved by a man who spoke to the pain and longing of the black and the powerless.  My family, being neither, gave little thought to these issues.  Like many in the audience, I raised my hand and argued with him, but the speech was the first of many awakening shocks I would receive over the next several decades.

“Black Power,” Boutelle said, “simply means GET OFF OUR BACKS!  Quit trying to keep us down and let us succeed.”

On American institutions: “There are more crooks on Wall Street than anywhere else in the world.”  An exaggeration, perhaps, but only a slight one given the revelations of the last twenty years or so.

On the Vietnam War: “They say we’re fighting for the self-preservation of the Vietnamese?  Nonsense….I’ll be damned if my son will go to fight the white man’s war.”

The appearance was co-sponsored by the SDS, but that group’s OU chapter was a small one, and the majority of the audience was, if not completely hostile, at least not very receptive.  The foreign students gave him the hardest time, but he fielded every question calmly and sincerely.

*

The firestorm hit the next day and continued to grow over the next several weeks.  Gaylord’s papers raged against the appearance on campus of a man variously described as a “Harlem Negro,” “Harlem Negro taxi-driver and avowed Marxist,” “a Harlem Negro militant,” “an avowed Negro Marxist” and “an avowed Harlem Negro Marxist.”

It was important, of course, to make the point to those readers not familiar with either the man, his politics or his speech, that Boutelle was a “Negro.”  Gaylord seldom went in for the subtle code words or phrases used today.  Worse, still, Boutelle was an “avowed Negro,” which one can only assume must be the worst kind.

A scheduled Boutelle speech in Oklahoma City was cancelled.  Lecterns were pounded in the two houses of the Oklahoma State Legislature.  University funding was threatened.  A legislative investigation was called for.  Angry meetings were held between state representatives and the university president, led by Reps. Texanna Hatchett and David L. Boren.

Heads rolled.  Well, one head rolled.  A staff member with the university-connected Southwest Center for Human Relations Studies, who had helped arrange the Boutelle appearance, became the sacrificial lamb, being “relegated to full-time office work rather than being available for speaking engagements representing OU.”

Some months later, the executive committee of the Center issued a policy statement upholding its decision to allow a credentialed candidate for Vice President of the United States to speak on campus:

The public at large and members of government must realize that a major role of a university is that of creating conditions which will permit important controversial problems and issues to be discussed and analyzed in a climate conducive to their understanding and resolution…[We] insist upon the right and responsibility of the center and other recognized segments of the university to sponsor or invite any person to participate in planned educational efforts at this institution.

But the statement was too late.  Neither the university nor the legislature agreed that a person out of touch with Oklahoma politics – even if he were a vice-presidential candidate – had any place speaking at a public institution.  Weeks before, university president George L. Cross had already apologized profusely, terming Boutelle a “rabble rouser” and stating that “[w]hen you jeopardize the freedom to explore ideas by inviting a person like that to our campus [ ! ], I can see being undone what I’ve tried to do over the years.”

A few days later, a university official indicated that he did not consider the Boutelle speech to be an issue of “academic freedom” and, according to a representative at a closed meeting with legislators and university brass, reportedly said the appearance “was the basis of a clinical experience for students to see how such people talk, look and behave – not an example of academic freedom.”

Such peopleThe Oklahoman didn’t bother with code words, but the university did.

The university official was, again, president George L. Cross.  One of the small group of legislators calling him onto the carpet was David L. Boren, later governor of Oklahoma, later U.S. Senator from Oklahoma and currently, thanks to his decades-long relationship with the Gaylord family, president of the University of Oklahoma.

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose. The more things change, the more they remain the same.

*

While assaulting unions, the minimum wage and any legislation more favorable to the working man than to the employer, Gaylord was himself becoming rich.  During the Depression, he faced a delivery problem throughout the state when several passenger train lines were eliminated.  E.K. started his own truck-based delivery service, Mistletoe Express, which became a successful and profitable regional carrier for decades before sliding into bankruptcy in late century.

In 1928, he bought one of Oklahoma’s earliest radio stations, WKY, a station established so early that it was one of only a small handful of stations west of the Mississippi River whose assigned call letters began with a “W” instead of a “K.”  (In the 1950′s and ‘60′s, the station was one of only two pop music stations in Oklahoma City and teenagers were divided (much like Ford drivers and Chevrolet drivers) into those who favored WKY and those who only listened to KOMA.)

In 1948, Gaylord founded WKY-TV, the first television station in the market, and a very few years later bought yet another television station in Florida.  Although long affiliated with NBC, well into the 1970′s  WKY preferred to devote large chunks of its daily schedule to locally produced programs – farm news, children’s programming and home-grown country-and-western shows, especially those featuring the owners of local furniture stores, who were their own sponsors and whose programming represented practically pure gravy for the station.

(“We plow 9 to 9 weekdays and 9 to 5 on Sundays.  Come on down and see these ol’ country boys!”)

After the old man’s death, his son established a Los Angeles television production studio, which provided such entertainment as “The Glen Campbell Show” and “Hee Haw.”  Branching out into Nashville in the 1980′s, Edward Gaylord first bought Opryland and, inside of only a few years,  owned the Grand Ol Opry, Opryland Hotel, Opryland Theme Park, The Nashville Network and Country Music Television, although most of the “Opry” empire has since been sold off.

*

E.K. only lost one race in his life: the race to establish an Air Force base controlled by Oklahoma City and the Oklahoma City Chamber of Commerce.  W.P. “Bill” Atkinson got there first but E.K. never forgot, never forgave, and ensured that his fame would far outlast that of the former pupil turned biggest enemy.  The Gaylord name lives on and is honored today in Oklahoma, while Atkinson is all but forgotten except in Midwest City.

*

E.K. Gaylord died on May 30, 1974, at the age of 101.  Waiting in the wings to turn a mediocre newspaper into a national joke was son Edward L. Gaylord, whom everyone referred to as “Eddie.”  Knowing he would never command the same respect as his father, and would never be known as “E.L.,” Eddie settled for making himself more feared than his father ever had been.

“E.K. wasn’t really all that bad,” a former Oklahoman employee, later an editor at the paper’s last serious competitor, told me. “He was actually very soft-spoken and gentlemanly.  And at least he was a newspaperman, unlike his son or Atkinson.  He always came down on the side of the news department, even if the advertising department didn’t like it.

“In the 5 ½ years I worked for him, he never once pulled a story or killed a story or asked a reporter to change a story.  He had a lot of real old-time, professional news people working for him.  People from the old school who had been in the business for years.  They wouldn’t have put up with anything other than honest journalism.  And he knew it.

“Eddie, now…Eddie was another thing altogether.  He was a vicious little bastard. All the things you think you’ve heard about The Oklahoman ignoring news that didn’t fit its own politics, and all the things you’ve read about how terrible the newspaper was – those were all when Eddie was running the show.”

*

Walter Harrison, a former Oklahoman editor, included a short, unofficial biography of E.K. Gaylord in his 1954 book, “Me and My Big Mouth.”  He contrasted father and son like this:  “Pere Gaylord’s domination of his highly successful empire has been so ruthless, that some in the know wonder whether Eddie will be capable of making his decisions when the boss finally takes his hand off the tiller.

Harrison needn’t have worried.

*

If E.K.’s Oklahoman was occasionally strident and biased, Eddie’s Oklahoman was downright vicious.

The senior Gaylord, surprisingly enough, seemed to have no great agenda against homosexuals, at least compared to his son.  There were incidents, of course.  One of E.K.’s most talented deskmen was let go by the managing editor when it was discovered that he was gay.  When friends attempted to intercede, E.K. reportedly told them he thought the former employee was “a nice young man” who had simply fallen in with bad companions, but that he left staffing decisions to his department heads.

And when an Oklahoma City mayor became a bit too notorious in his search for pretty boys, Gaylord calmly informed him that he could serve out his present term but it would be very unwise for him to seek re-election.  The mayor heeded his advice.

The stridently anti-gay editorials, however, didn’t begin until Edward Gaylord assumed control of the paper.  Eddie was hell on homosexuals and assumed the rest of the state was, also.  And his editorials were straight out of his father’s book of vitriol:

What Is to Stop It?


A society conditioned to believe that homosexuals are normal folks with equal protection under the law should have no problem accepting society’s blessing of…that minority of homosexual men whose preference (orientation?) is for young boys….We won’t even mention those whose sexual preference runs toward the non-human….

*

‘Non-Discrimination” Act

Is Gays’ Stealth Bomber

*

Homosexual Issue Signals

Divorce of Law, Morality

*

The Hate Card (July 5, 1997) used the phrase “homosexual activists” four times in an essay of less than 200 words.

*

Homosexual ‘Rights’ Based

On Propaganda, Pandering

A case could be made that more people are denied jobs because of acne and tattoos than because of sexual preferences….

*


Something to Talk About

Please don’t tell us that people once used the Bible to justify slavery.  That old dog won’t hunt any more….Unless one is Bibliophobic (afraid of what God says about this), one must agree that homosexual behavior is sinful….

*

Conservatives Must Speak Out

Against Politics of Intimidation

Men may alter laws to say that homosexual couples must be treated the same as married couples….But changing man-made laws does not change the laws of God that are written on the human heart….

*

Homosexual Agenda Trying

To Declare Flaws as Virtues

A cultural war is being waged against moral codes, traditional values and standards of common decency….

*

Eroding Core Values

Get Ready for Same-Sex Marriages

*

Another False Notion

Doctors Cave in to Homosexual Rights

Homosexual activists say two men or two women can be good parents, no different than heterosexual parents.  Yet that notion runs counter to intrinsic values of human behavior….

The foregoing represent only a small sample of the editorials railing against gay rights for only six years, 1996 through 2002.  The total number, from the beginnings of the gay rights movement in the 1970s through today, would fill a book.

Perhaps they already have.

I can’t leave this subject without quoting a couple of favorite headlines placed over letters to the editor: Homosexual Activity a Sign Of Society’s End and Gays Are Own Enemies.

*

James V. Risser, two-time Pulitzer Prize winner and director emeritus of the John S. Knight Fellowships for Professional Journalists at Stanford University, wrote a lengthy feature article on the country’s few remaining family-owned daily newspapers for the June, 1998, issue of the American Journalism Review, published by the University of Maryland.  The first newspaper featured was Edward Gaylord’s Daily Oklahoman, which Risser generously termed “a journalistic underachiever.”

Contrasting the newspaper itself with the money poured into its lavish new headquarters, Risser wrote that “It’s not clear, though, that enough Gaylord money has been spent to make a better newspaper.”  The news staff was skimpy for a paper of its size, but, after all, what “would (the paper) do with additional reporters, given its relatively small newshole”?

“The Oklahoman’s selection of foreign stories is quirky at best,” he wrote.  And “the problem with the Oklahoman editorial page is not that it’s conservative but that it’s blindly so, simplistic and loose with the facts.”

The focus of Risser’s article was not on the quality of the “independents,” but mini-portraits of the largest ones.  But the following year, the Columbia Journalism Review, the most respected periodical in the country on matters journalistic, dropped a bombshell in the form of a five-part article entitled “The Worst Newspaper in America.”  The series may be the first time that the term “The Daily Disappointment” made it into print, but many Oklahomans, liberal and conservative, who have never heard of the Columbia Journalism Review continue to refer to the paper by that nickname.

“Where else can you find a big-city editorial page…that not only demonizes unions, environmentalists, feminists, Planned Parenthood, and public education, but also seems obsessed with lecturing gays?…Want lots of enterprising, in-depth stories with plenty of world and national news…?  How about praline recipes instead?”

Or a daily front-page prayer.

And despite the fact that six out of ten Oklahoma City households don’t even bother to subscribe to The Oklahoman, its captive advertisers pay more than double the rates per 1,000 households reached than do advertisers in The New York Times, making for a pretty tidy profit.

Once a Democratic newspaper, The Oklahoman changed with the Southern times to become not only Republican, but more conservative than the Republican National Committee.  Columnists during Eddie’s reign were uniformly right-wing, without one single balancing voice.  In October, 1998, alone, the paper printed 57 anti-Clinton editorials, sometimes as many as three per day.

Oddly enough, Eddie was a registered Democrat.

Editorial page editor Patrick McGuigan proudly proclaimed, “We’re trying to change the political culture; we’re trying to make Oklahoma a conservative bastion.”  Funny.  That’s not the mission or calling of a newspaper that I recall being taught in journalism school.

Most respectable dailies catch regular hell from both sides of the political spectrum.  Liberals write to complain of the papers’ “obvious” conservative bent and conservatives write to complain that the paper is “obviously” part of the liberal media conspiracy.  These papers must be doing something right.

The Columbia Journalism Review piece termed Eddie Gaylord’s Oklahoman “a partisan bully,” although it did quote staffers as saying that, since Oklahoma has been an historically Democratic state (forgetting that Oklahoma has not been “Democratic” in the national sense of the term for more than forty years), it is only natural that Democrats come in for close scrutiny more often than Republicans.

The Oklahoman was silent about the CJR portrait, leaving it to a suburban weekly to call the series “gutter journalism” and to claim that “the lying, prejudicial, trashy article [would not have been printed had The Oklahoman] been a newspaper with a liberal, left wing editorial policy.”

*

Four years later, in 2003, Eddie died, after having turned over control, some months before, to his son, E.K. Gaylord II.  Christy Gaylord Everest, one of Eddie’s two daughters, became publisher.  The Oklahoman was gushing in its tribute to Eddie’s passing.  Others were not so generous, including lobbyist Keith Smith, who praised the “new” Oklahoman:   “There used to be an anti-gay editorial every week, and I probably haven’t seen one in six months.”

Former Oklahoma governor David Walters noted:

A paper can either highlight your negatives or accentuate your positives, and that paper had developed that into a fine art form.  Well, actually, at times it wasn’t even a fine art form – it was just a kind of bludgeoning exercise.  But they were effective at it, because you only have to bludgeon every 10th person, and the other nine get the message.

But Frosty Troy, editor of the liberal weekly Oklahoma Observer, and a highly popular national speaker, said it best:

Thirty years ago, he took what was one of the best papers in the Southwest and turned it into what would become known as one of the worst newspapers in America.  I don’t want to say anything bad about the man now that he’s dead, but I hope if he’s in heaven, they teach Journalism 101.

Another critic much later observed that a year after The Oklahoma Journal folded in 1980, Eddie’s newspaper’s circulation figures had hardly budged, “suggesting that there were forty thousand people in town who would rather read nothing than read The Oklahoman.”


1“The darkest aspect, and the greatest danger to the nation, occurs in evidence of a conspiracy.  There is far too much coordinated action for all these anti-war demonstrations to be spontaneous.  There are too many global overtones for them to be entirely indigenous to their various locales.”

Next Up:  The Leopard’s Spots

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